losing touch

 It’s getting as bad as it used to be…

When I lose myself, tangled in foggy thoughts and dreams I can’t explain…

I  find myself begging at your feet, looking up to you to pick me up again.

But you never do — and I don’t know that you ever did, as much as I try to believe that.

You were the only one who ever saw me… who quieted my mind while simultaneously igniting my heart.

I backtrack to the last time my world made sense….

Before the storms put out the fire and left the world encased in ice.

Back to a time when I believed completely in love, music, and art.

When light was not only in my hands… but shining from my heart.
 

Today love is the grass that’s greener on the other side….

And I’m stuck behind this picket fence… peering in, trying to move the boards so I can see what it’s like.

Because, in all honesty… I forget how to do this.

I’m tripping in every step of this dance to the point where I can’t see why I keep trying.

I don’t know what I’m doing.

I don’t know how I’m feeling.

Falling flat on the ground I rely on… 

without any idea how to rise up.