hollow

Well, I found that falling in love the first time does not feel the same ever again. I felt I found something actually that exceeded the first time with Shayla, but it took 13 years to find that. And who knows where that stands right now so that’s tough to comment on. Fear cripples. You just have to decide if you’re even ready for another relationship. Most think they are but aren’t close.

My views are pretty strong. When you’re with someone or care for them so deeply and they affect you on such an intense level it takes a very long time to move on and be ready to truly embrace someone else.. If things truly are done with Shayla it may take me 6 months to a year for me to be ready to truly be with someone else and give them all of me..

Parts so often are stored for someone else.. or you’re conflicted.. or the emotions for one guy or girl bleed into the feelings for the next guy or girl.. It’s tough to understand.. And falling in love is such a rare thing. I’m 32 and it’s happened to me all of 4 times.. You’ll likely discover this as you gain experience and learn more how you fit with people.

Falling in love is so beyond emotions and feelings it is a confluence of fit, personality, goals, standards, beliefs, and so much more.. I hope things work out for you.

I hope you find a way to let yourself feel something… hope you’re doing alright.

Being icy cold is the efficient way to get through days. While true that you might get called out for being cold-heart’ed, an ice queen/king, etc. it’s just because of idiots who keep bouncing around day by day like leaves in the wind and leave nothing of value behind. People love hearing “the right thing” and truth told I doubt any of them actually care about the “truth” and I’ve talked aboutthis so often- the truth to them is whatever lie sounds best. It makes a truth spoken for all purposes a lie and a lie for all practical purposes… true. What a messed up concept, but an unfortunate state of reality. That said, I still keep a warm smile on my face. I guess it is because its the morally right thing to do… even if its not the easiest or best thing for me to do when all you actually want to do is let winter come and cover the world in cold white purity. You really need to make the option for private notes… ~R

RYN: it is you. ~R

I noticed you are not an OD+ member. I was wondering if you would enjoy a subscription as a little gift from me to you, from one ice-bound soul to another. Let me know. ~R

Don’t hate on watermelon! Properly chilled and cubed it is delightful! 😀 I wasn’t suggesting you didn’t know the feeling at all! Sometimes I just start talking and get carried away. In the end, for all of us the only true proper perspective is the eventuality of time I have found. That shows us what we need know. Are you doing okay? Is everything alright?

What’s the rough patch? You alright? How is it tougher than it should be?

I still cannot leave private notes m’lady. Don’t feel bad about accepting a gift. RYN- I’m totally self taught for the past few years, then I took some culinary classes for better cooking. Flaming pan flips were not a part of the course however, that is trial and unfortunately flaming errors. I’ve not set myself on fire though!