by my side

 Realizations have come in waves lately…

I suppose, with all the time I have on my hands as of late, 

And essentially reinventing my life, would lead to some epiphanies. 

My latest, though, was a habit I’ve had all my life….

One that surfaced the day he walked away.

Never before had I known how badly I needed the people I love.

I thrive on the closeness of my relationships.

Friends. Family. Lovers. 

All of which feed a seemingly mutual addiction. 

There are days when I spend all hours alone… honing new found passions into simple talents,

writing away my thoughts onto this screen,

mindlessly watching hours and hours of TV to distract myself from pure physical pain.

But no matter what, there are people with me.

My heart and mind are bound to those I care about…

Days, weeks, and months may pass without your face meeting my eyes…

But I promise you… to me…

You’re always right here.

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August 4, 2010

I hope you’re holding up alright and that things are getting better. Sorry I texted so late, I didn’t realize it was that late. Time seems nothing but my enemy right now. Anyway, let me know how you’re doing. Take care and hope to talk again soon.

August 5, 2010

Thanks for your note. I’m doing better now. I guess I just had a break down. But I just talked to Brian and he sounded better. He’ll be out of ICU in the morning. Hope you get to feeling better.

September 20, 2010

At times being young is just pure pain and moments of exhilaration. I recall my own youth going through things and trying to understand what seemed so complicated but was really rather plain. We feel we cannot live without certain things, that there is more than water, oxygen and food that keep us alive. Love is the pursuit of angels, yet before we attain such we just need build our wings.