you can’t push it underground

title: time is running out – artist: muse

I didn’t write this. I would have loved to, but I didn’t. thankfully, someone did write it, though. and so I’m posting it, because sharing rocks!

from http://www.tofubloggin.blogspot.com/:

you are so beautiful

"don’t work for a family."

someone said this to me. followed it up with some horror stories.

when a family runs a business together, they can be really mean to each other.

things thrown. screaming.

"i’ve seen it. they don’t have to be nice. they’re family."

——

i’ve been working for a mom and pop shop for a few weeks now.

the people who run it are two of the most genuinely sweet folks i have ever met.

really. most of us are real jerks compared to them.

the mom has a grown son who’s going to get married and she’s worried.

she tells me about her worries. as a mother, she has lot.

she wants her son to spend some time with her husband–his step-father, married his mother after he left the house–and let him share what a husband is, what a husband does. "show him," she says. you can tell she adores her husband. thinks he hung the moon. truly.

with the impending marriage there’s been a lot of discussion about relationships. instigated by her. it’s got me to thinking about them.

i thought about the advice, about not working for family.

"he’s a great husband?" i was thinking today, "i haven’t seen any real conflict in this place, we’ll just see."

——

we were running a job. the copier spitting out pages, making books. i kept feeding reams of paper in the machine. i’d fed a lot, was trying to calculate how much paper we had, how much there was to go.

"how many pages are we printing?" i said.
"what?" the mom asked, she’s been handling the accounts. writing the orders.
"i am just trying to figure out how much paper this job is going to take."
(it can be a bit staggering. today’s job was going to use 4,000 sheets of paper.)

she dug out the work order.
"it says here that it should only take… wait, that’s not right."

she had originally quoted the job to the client. in production the job had changed. more pages were added. a couple more processes. she had underbilled by almost three hundred dollars.

the look of horror on her face is almost beyond describing.
"my stomach hurts," she said, "i can’t believe i did this."

i can believe it. i came on as they lost their graphic designer and their production manager. the shop has been listing to the side, a ship slowly taking on water because the elements needed for balance were absent. not having a production manager has hit us a couple times, mostly small mistakes. this one, however, was not so small.

she went to the back of the building to tell her husband. it was the end of the day. i thought about packing up my stuff and going. i didn’t want to be around when it hit the fan.

i couldn’t hear the conversation over the chunk and whirr of the machines. she came back into the room and went to her computer. lost, i could tell. unsure of the next step.

he came in and they both walked to his office. i was backing up the computers and i needed to finish before going home. his was the last i needed to do.

"do you want me to just do it on monday?" i said.

"no, no," the husband said, "come on in."

i hooked up the external drive to the computer.

"now, what happened?" he said.

"i under quoted the job," she said. she told him the details. she told him about what she’d forgotten. she told him she wasn’t sure what to do. she was on the verge of tears.

i punched the keys on his computer, finding the files i needed.

he sat for a moment.

"you know what the biggest mistake i ever made?" he said.

"what’s that?" i asked.

he then went on to tell how he’d made a quote error that resulted in the loss of thousands of dollars.

"i hold the record," he said, smiling at her, "you didn’t even come close."

the worry and agony washed from her face. her countenance changed. "you are the sweetest man," she said to him, kissing his forehead.

"he’s sweet alright," i said. unplugging the drive and walking out the door.

i had to. i was crying.

——

it’s been a while since i’ve seen love demonstrated in that way. honestly, i’ve gotten used to people being mean to each other in this world. you never see it on TV, or movies. it’s not a part of our culture. i’m so used to it, in fact, his action astounded me.

he had the right to be angry. three hundred dollars doesn’t often break the bank, but, in a small business, it’s a significant amount. i could tell he was bothered, he took a smoke break quickly following the conversation.

he chose to love her instead. he chose to restore her and reassure her. he chose love over how ever much it bothered him, or how it was the capstone of several mistakes made in the shop today that cost him money. he could have blown his top. he would have been justified. he could have apologized later. but he didn’t. he loved her.

i’ve never witnessed what i saw today. i’ve never watched a man chose love over the circumstance (i don’t think it was too hard a choice for him). i’ve never seen it have such a direct and immediate impact upon another person. it was amazing.

it may seem small to you. insignificant. it is in small moments, small gestures, the everyday choices where i choose to love instead of chosing what is easy, or convenient, or emotionally justifiable. where i control my own mouth and actions and give love instead, considering the heart that stands next to me. the heart, the person, i say i love. i can say it all i want, i think. what i do defines it. love defines it.

i gotta be honest. there’s a part of me that has ceased to believe in relationships. however, after seeing love in action, watching it move–almost tangibly–from one person to another, my faith got a shot in the arm.

i learned something about being a husband today. about being a man. i hope to never forget it.

God willing, i won’t.

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