Okay, I Give… For Now
Still sleeping too much. Still really depressed, but not the crying, sad, end-of-my-rope kind of depression. I don’t really know how to describe it, other than to say it’s a kind of hopelessness combined with the resignation that this is just how it is, you know? I think I’ve come to a place where I figure, “What the fuck?” instead of striving to make things better. I’m tired, I guess… tired of the constant uphill battle that is my life. I’m not going to end said life; I’m just going to maybe have to go with the proverbial flow for a while, to quit exerting so much energy and wasting so much time trying to “fix” whatever needs fixing.
Nothing wrong with resting. Please try to be kind, though. Eat right and get out for just a little bit when you can. Pet Popcorn and read a good book.
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When I get depressed that way, I try to tell myself that this is life right now, to face it and accept it as it is, and ride it out until something comes along–either inside myself or in some other part of my life–to bring me around to a different way of thinking. It takes time, and also it means NOT trying to fix anything, at least for a while. š
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Hang in there! I know its hard.
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I understand how you feel about climbing the never ending hill. Sending you warm thoughts of freedom and relief from life’s sometimes frequent bleak nature. Hugs you hun … Sandra
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I know other people who seem or have seemed to feel that . Maybe a rest is the thing to do .
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I can tell when you are depressed. Your entries become extremely short. I know one has very few words to share when feeling down. Love,
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