some men think they are soooo sneaky!
It used to be that if a guy decided to hit on me, he would make it completely obvious he was interested by either complimenting me somehow or immediately asking if i had a boyfriend or if i was single. Then of course I’d turn him down as politely as I could because I am not looking to date. Guys you have to realise that we aren’t all lying to you when we say we want to be single. Some of us have better things to do than to worry about finding a boyfriend okay?
Well…..as of lately it seems men have found a way to try and maneuver around getting turned down by asking the "hang out" question or the "friends" technique.
What is the "hang out" question and friend technique? Well I am about to tell you my own interpretation of what these two things are. Eh hem.
When using the "hang out" question, instead of automatically asking a girl out, the guy goes "Hey! I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime?" The reason , i realise, why a guy asks that question is because when they say "hang out" they know that to us women, hanging out is what friends do and hanging out is a lot safer than dating. So pretty much we are more likely to say yes and they think they are the shit. *rolls eyes*
The other reason men like to use the "hang out" question, is in case a woman says straight out "oh I am not looking to date right now" they can defend themselves and say "Um okay? I was only looking to be friends in the first place." In order for them to not feel like a loser and try to make the woman feel that she was wrongly making an assumption, but guys…we know better than that come on. Some guys have mastered the "hang out" question technique, where others still have a lot to learn.
For instance, for cinco de mayo I went out for drinks at a bar with my friend katie and her friend jessica. we noticed that the bouncer kept coming over to the table to talk to us and when I went to the bathroom he asked katie and jessica if i was single. they said that i was but that i was not looking for a boyfriend. they told me this when i got back and i said i agreed that it was the right thing for them to say. ANYWAY…as we were leaving the bouncer approached me and said "Hey um, look i’d really like to take you out sometime."
I was confused because this guy was already told that I wasn’t looking to date, but I said it to him anyway "Yeah man I’m sorry, but I am not looking to date right now…" Then he said "Oh that’s okay! I’m not looking to date either!"
Guys, if you forget to use the "hang out" question in the beginning, then you cannot back track! If you make it obvious you are interested you cannot change your mind in the next setence! That is damn confusing! Also, if you tell a girl you would like to take her out, and then say that you aren’t looking to date or get a girlfriend, then what are you saying? Are you saying you are just looking for sex? Because that is the question that was running through my mind right at that second. Taking me out is not a friendship kind of thing. What an idiot.
Either way, if you are a guy, and you use the "hang out" question" we know what you are up to. We aren’t stupid. Even if we agree to hang out, in the back of our mind we know there is motive, we know that you are not looking to be just friends and knowing this, we still take that chance because many women would love to have more guy friends or be able to feel like "one of the guys" for once.
I agreed to hang out with a nice guy from work. We will just say his name is george. so george asked me to hang out and i made the mistake of just saying yes instead of abrubtly saying that I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend. i went over to georges house where we talked, played cards and just chilled. he didn’t make a move on me, didn’t compliment me , nothing. this was a sign to me to clear my mind of any suspicions of him liking me. so when the weather was nice and george asked me if i wanted to go on a hike with him of course i agreed! we were having lots of fun and then near the end of our adventure he put his arm around me….boy was i wrong. of course i told him what the diddly was and he acted very surprised!
I mean come on guys, we are damned if we do and damned if we don’t? If you are going to use the "hang out" question technique theres a pretty big chance that the girl is only hanging out with you to HANG OUT. arg!
So there you have it folks. Am I right? Am I wrong?
Now the heres the friends technique, which I happened to experience today! I think it is a little bit more stupid then the "hang out" question, but here it is.
A guy asks me if he can talk to me for a minute. He introduces himself, asks for my name, make a short comment on whatever I was doing, and then gets to the point of asking if he could have my number. This is usually what men do if they interested in a woman right? Well the key factor here is that he did not tell me WHY he was asking for my number, even though it is quite obvious. I told him "Hey that’s sweet of you to ask, but I am not looking to date right now." and he sort of did the whole backwards hang out mistake thing, but totally denied his interest by saying "Oh no I’m not looking to date right now either, I was just thinking you looked like a nice girl and I thought maybe we could chill, be friends!"
RIGHT…..Guys let me ask you this. Do men randomly make effort to get a girls number if his only thought was "oh i’d like to be her friend!" unless he is gay? I mean seriously.
So i looked this guy straight in the eye and I said "You honestly expect me to believe that you approached me for my number for the purpose of only wanting to be friends?"
He said "Dang girl you’re harsh! No really that’s the truth! I’m just looking to meet new people!"
uh huh……..
I said "well in that case, you are the first straight guy i’ve ever met that makes friends with girls by randomly approaching them and asking for their number…" I gave him my digits and he smiled.
Later I got a text from him saying "hey pretty lady, just texting you my number so you can save it in your phone ;-)"
*rolles eyes*
I texted back "okay sure thing"
he replied "we probably won’t ever chill huh"
I responded "Honestly I am a very busy girl and barely get to see my friends as it is, so if I have any spare time I will most likely spend it with them. you’ll definitely see me from time to time at the gym though!"
he texted "I feel yu"
Guys, if it is obvious that a girl is not looking to date, or have a boyfriend, why still make the effort to get her number? do you think you can change her mind? what is the point? i don’t get it. *shakes head*
Well that is the end of my little shpiel. i’m going to bed. goodnight
the end
ryn: no, i don’t know the person who originally said that (it’s part of a poem he wrote about seven years ago) but it was retold to me by a good friend of his. i wish i knew him/had written that myself/had someone write that for me.
Warning Comment
maybe you should just flat out say no and not give them a reason! i mean if they just think they can try and trick you after you have said you aren’t looking to date then don’t give them a reason why you don’t want to see them. just say no sorry you’re not my type. its okay to be mean you know!
Warning Comment
RYN: Sigh…I agree, what we have is worth so much more than $$$…sometimes I get so wrapped up in what we don’t have and where we should be instead of realizing all we do share and enjoying where we are right now. Thanks for you note sweetie =)
Warning Comment
lol halarious!!! u are so funny. welllll excited for tomorrow! see ya then if your not working! (liz said u might be?)
Warning Comment
boys.
Warning Comment
i sometimes want to be just friends with girls, altho the question of sex does come up. kinda like you’re my friend but i’d still like to fvck you. i think guys use girls for practice. the bouncer was off tho. shoulda cut his losses. i dunno. i’d like more female friends but i still want to fvck. and how do you know too, when you’re being a female’s friend instead of just a cool guy she might have
Warning Comment
sex with. i have a few female friends in real life, a few on here too. other social networking sites. and most of them i’d have sex with, and one of them i did, but we’re still friends. and the one i had sex with is a lesbian, most of the time anyway. and she grinds with her gay friends at the club and asks me if i still want to fvck her (which i get mad at her for cuz that’s so not cool haha)
Warning Comment
but in her words, well, not her words, but what she said is that she met her best friend in a threesome, which i think is how it works. and my buddy rob says women are no good in a fight and something else, so if they didn’t have a pussy why would you hang out with them. i mean, i suppose someone to bug about doing the dishes, and i mean, i get on well with my mom and grandma, the latter who i
Warning Comment
lived with for four years. the lesbian friend is nice but she’s still a girl so you can’t be a dog, altho i’m not one. but she got mad at me once for saying i want to roll around naked with this chic and she thought i said that to the girl, which i’ve done before and has worked, sort’ve, not exact words, but she was like that’s a dick move and a guy would just be like 1) did it work and 2) that
Warning Comment
was stupid. so i’ve made friends with girls even tho i’ve wanted to fvck them, because i’m not a rapist. i dunno. sex is fun, and being sexy is fun, and talking about sex is fun, and i dunno. i want to believe (haha) that women and men can be just friends but i’m not sure they can. it’s weird that you say alot of women want guy friends. what exactly do they want out of guy friends, because i know
Warning Comment
with girls i know i want them to introduce me to girls too, because you look much better being introduced by a girl and it’s exciting. i suppose the one thing is you gotta have common interests, but if you have common interests why aren’t you dating i guess. i just can’t see it. maybe i’m missing something but what exactly are you looking for in a guy friend that’s different from a guy being
Warning Comment
interested, superficially at least. i notice girls listen to guys talk about girls anyway, which i think is cool and should probably be reciprocated. just meeting a guy in a bar tho you’re not gonna get a guy friend, you have to do that thru work (where 62% of relationships start anyway) or common interests. i’m not sure what more to say. this just confuses me to be honest.
Warning Comment
i side with you on the bouncer but why would a guy risk being rejected or treated like someone inferior for wanting to make a friend. there’s just not enough profit in it to pursue a girl as just a friend. altho i know i’ve done that with funny girls because they’re cool, and it happens with drugs too (altho i dont’ really do them but if you want to get high go thru a hot chic who’ll get deals)
Warning Comment
you should have a white font btw. the flowers are hard to see with. i dunno. sex is fun. you’re not gonna be able to do anything about that.
Warning Comment
besides, girls get treated like girls. i know that doesn’t preclude being friends with a girl but you’re gonna flirt with a girl eventually, if she’s cute. i can generally take a hint tho i still i guess “push” my luck sometimes, especially if i feel like being a creep to a girl who’s showed interest then backed off. it’s like where the fvck do you think you’re going. can’t do nothing about it
Warning Comment
anyway. ex this friend showed me pictures of her having sex with her ex boyfriend. great body on her and whenever i mention sex to her she clams up and it’s like what the fvck man, you showed me naked pictures of you being fvcked and you can’t even take a flirty joke now. what gives but i put up with it because i like the female company anyway but i lost respect for her for that.
Warning Comment
you look like my step-sister btw
Warning Comment