ending any sentence with “ladies” makes it creepy

What is it with me and attracting creeps. The day before yesterday I got a random message on myspace from some guy in Idaho that said

"I guess I am choosing to write you a letter because I need to express my gratitude in letting my take a “slice” out of your life. I enjoyed your page and the few pictures I happened to see."

Matthew

So I replied very simply with "Well I guess you’re welcome and thank you! :-)"

Then I recieved yet another message saying

"I only thought that giving you an honest answer is better than anything else"

and again I replied very casually

"I appreciate it 🙂 thanks for stoppin by!
hope your day goes swell!"

and then…

"my day was interesting to say the less…how was yours?"

I mean geesh man cant ya get the hint?

I chose not to respond. Then today I got this message from him………

So I am sitting here at eleven thirty tonight with “Family Guy” playing in the background from my bedroom television set. Once again I find myself trying to piece together some letter to write you with the hope of making you smile or even better yet turning what might be a blue and solemn day into a bight and vibrant blast of human colorfulness! I might accomplish this, or might not….either way I will write to you the same and hopefully I can reach and touch you somehow through the many miles that separate my words and thoughts and your precious ears.

If you could see me right now, you would see me listening to my music with my hoodie on over my eyes just giving me enough to sight to write to you. I find companionship with it; it is almost like having a hug that never leaves. Wouldn’t that be great to have…a hug that never leaves? I know that I write way too much and over analyze everything, but I am always looking and feeling the world. All people want is someone to listen. I believe that we people have the ability to talk and create miracles. Miracles: You do not have to look for them. They are there, 24-7, beaming like radio waves all around you. Put up the antenna, turn up the volume – snap… crackle… this just in, every person you talk to is a chance to change the world…isn’t it funny how the basis of all human unity is to just know someone. Such a simple, yet sometimes hard thing to grasp! That is why I look at the world the way I do, that is way I never pass up the chance to meet someone new for you never know what role they will play in your life. I mean, look at us; I have you and even if we never meet or ever see each other, we have left our thumbprints in the thick, moist clay of each other’s lives.

So today while in the studio I was thinking about my band and the direction it seems we are taking. I am not going to lie; the way people request and ask us to play amazes me! We get asked to play shows out of state, in state and everything in between all the time…if this is going to something great you can’t imagine how happy that makes me feel! Also, it makes me scared beyond anything I have ever felt. I would give anything to be able to play music for a living. To just drive from city to city playing shows would be the ultimate experience for me. What scares me, is my children and friends. My girls know the love of music I have in my life and much I breathe it in and live it with everything I do. They are developing the same way and I love it! My oldest loves to sing and my youngest has no fear in performing for others when it comes to her songs. Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. I think I should have no other mortal wants, if I could always have plenty of music. It seems to infuse strength into my limbs and ideas into my brain. Life seems to go on without effort, when I am filled with music. Anyways, back on topic, I hope that they understand that life will be hard for awhile if I choose to pursue this dream of mine. I might lose a lot of people with this decision, but the ones that stay I will cherish forever!

I saw some beautiful people today at Starbucks. I was writing my paper on the tax increase proposal for Idaho’s beer and wine, and I witness the kindest and the most delicate women enjoying her cup of coffee. She was wearing what seemed like a home made dress that flowed like summer sunshine and hugged her legs like warm blankets just out of the dryer…The air that came off her was drifting away every time someone walked by. She smelled of easy bake ovens and Elmer’s glue….with a hint of peppermint sticks. The book I noticed she was reading was one on the new president and the change that I hope will come out of his term of office. Her hair was bouncy with curls that spoke a rhythm every time she moved her head….I wondered what song she might be playing in her head right than. I guess I wanted to know what colors she saw in life, if they were anything like mine or maybe they more load and beautiful than anything I could think of myself. This women was the ideals and the morals of what I think every persons needs in their life….this women, this beautiful and entrapping women had to be eight something younger than what she looked….it didn’t matter; she was all women to me.

Life has shown itself in a different color to me today. I wish I had in my power to show you what I saw, and maybe than you could dance to the colors I see everyday. Someone asked my one time what I think about when I make love. I suppose I close my eyes to much and they were getting concerned. I told them I see nature and her colors. They dance around creating designs and beautiful dances! I see change and excitement and they shoot off in all directions inside me, like the colored arrows from a Fourth of July rocket. Even in the darkness, every color can be found. And every day of rain brings water flowing to things growing in the ground.

Tonight I will weep for that dance I think, it is missed…that is something I can admit. Why I do so, how knows but hopefully it gives you a clear picture of what I am thinking right now in my life at this moment…at this final breath tonight. So in closing I ask you once again to think about nature and the way she is in your life….through whatever avenue you choose…find her tonight. For me writing and poetry reveals to me the loveliness of nature, brings back the freshness of youthful feelings, reviews the relish of simple pleasures, keeps unquenched the enthusiasm which warmed the springtime of our being, refines youthful love, strengthens our interest in human mature, by vivid delineations of its tenderness and softest feelings, and through the brightness of its prophetic visions, helps faith to lay hold on the future life. For after all what is man in nature? A nothing in relation to infinity, all in relation to nothing, a central point between nothing and all and infinitely far from understanding either. The ends of things and their beginnings are impregnably concealed from him in an impenetrable secret. He is equally incapable of seeing the nothingness out of which he was drawn and the infinite in which he is engulfed.

This is the true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognized by you as a mighty one. Being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as I live it is my privilege – my *privilege* to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I love. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me; it is a sort of splendid torch which I’ve got a hold of for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.

Matthew

WTF…..

I kept thinking for a long time how I would respond to such an elaborate e-mail message sent from one stranger to another. Maybe he copiedd this, pasted it and then sent it to many other women? Why on earth would he be this bold with someone whom he just saw online? Any way he is 31 with kids "obviously since he mentions them" and definitely a little desperate so I think that if I do say anything in return this is going to just be making a connection that I don’t want to have with him. Does it make me a bad person that I won’t respond? No. I’m not going to let myself feel guilty about it. Although that is usually what I do. I find that no matter who messages me I end up responding because If I don’t I feel like a bitch or an uncaring thoughtless person. But because of this I have gotten myself into situations where if I stopped responding the other person would become hostile because they expected me to suddenly become all buddy buddy with them or they had hopes that somehow they would become connected with me. I really do not know what these men want from me especially since they live in other states. Sometimes I feel im a magnet for creepsters. Now I’ve just about had it with trying to be nice. Being nice gets me into trouble a lot it seems. I just need to find a balance.