my 600th diary entry! wow,,,,,

 

 So! Since this is my 600th diary entry I am going to find every entry made on this day in the previous years and post them to see how i’ve changed! But first I shall start off by posting another one of my favorite poems.
 

Willow and Ginkgo

by Eve Merriam

The willow is like an etching,
Fine-lined against the sky.
Then ginkgo is like a crude sketch,
Hardly worthy to be signed.
The willow’s music is like a soprano,
Delicate and thin.
The ginkgo’s tune is like a chorus
With everyone joining in.

 The willow is sleek as a velvet-nosed calf,
The ginkgo is leathery as an old bull.
The willow’s branches are like silken thread;
The ginkgo’s like stubby rough wool.

The willow is like a nymph with streaming hair;
Wherever it grows, there is green and gold and fair.
The willow dips to the water,
Protected and precious, like the king’s favorite daughter.

The ginkgo forces its way through gray concrete;
Like a city child, it grows up in the street.
Thrust against the metal sky,
Somehow it survives and even thrives.
My eyes feast upon the willow,
But my heart goes to the ginkgo.

 

okay, so I wasn’t able to find a SINGLE entry written on todays date so I decided to go with the entry closest to it in may every year. alright heres the first!

 

 GROUNDED!    Saturday May 25th 2002

Hey everyone, thanks for checkin in on me. maggie,shell bell, cara,and everyone im sorry but im grounded from the computer till the end of the school year cus of my grades which is y i snuck down at 2am today to go online without ne one knowing! arnt i smart 🙂 well i cant wait until next month cus im goin back home to kodiak! YES! gosh but its all gonna pass so fast 🙁 and before i know it its gonna feel like moving again and im gonna go through the whole depression thing again 🙁 o yea for ppl who want to know where i got the smileys i got them at plaudersmileys.com so yea check them out 🙂 i tried puttin other pics on my diary and they seem to work at first but the next time i load onto my diary the pics are not there so i just quit 😛 gosh i missed writing in here! omg the 9th grade dance is coming up and its so not fair. almost everyone i ask has a date to the dance but not me. courtney has guys all over her begging and i dont have ne one 🙁 my friends say its cus im too outgoing. well maybe its cus im just new. or maybe the guys here think im ugly and stupid 🙁 in kodiak many guys liked me but its a whole different story now. i dont like ne one here but just to have no guy like me at all makes me feel like im not worth it ya know? i still like adriel alot but im goin through a tought stage.he only likes me wen i dont like him cus wen i like him he doesnt like me. he only wants what he cant have and hes selfish too. he says he doesnt want me to date until i die or something. **** that. he doesnt have control over my life like that. i hate him for wat hes doin cus he makes me feel like he likes me and then suddenly he doesnt ne more. like before wen we were kinda in a relationship but not really he liked me and i was happy but then he dint and i got hurt and now i hear he likes me again just cus i might be over him. well i dont want him playin with me like that. its either all or nothing and if he just wants to keep me from other guys and hold me as a backup then he can just plain forget about me all together cus then even if i do have ne feelings for him i would never act to them watsoever and i certainly would find another guy. but then theres the thing about dating. maybe i wont find another guy. in the first place im scared to havea relationship wat soever becus i know ill just get hurt. i mean no guy is gonna date me and end up marrying me. they are all just gonna dump me sooner or later ya know wat i mean. so y date? and if i did find a guy who would marry me then he would be a very special guy that doesnt come too often.but how would i know that unless i took a chance? AHHHHH its all so confusing 🙁 well ne ways i guess ill go for now.  Congrats to whoever finished reading this! hehe 

How Cool!    Monday May 19th 2003

ok well i dont feel like typing my horoscope today cus its late but ne ways today was cool cus i tried 2 new things! well first of all i went to the INTERACT meeting with courtney gabbie and jen . Interact is a club for doin community service and things like that! today we made posters advertising the clothes drive that im gonna go to in seattle, askin ppl to donate clothes for the needy. i put mine in the junior section in the commons. wen i got home i saw the Clare De Lune by Debussy on the piano and i thought "hey y not try it? i havent played the piano in sooo long!" and so after a long time of practicing i got the first part perfect! i was so happy with myself that i had to show someone so i called up adriel to show him but wen i got back to the piano i accidently started on the wrong note even tho it sounded like it was the right one. i was so embarrassed cus i really wanted to share wat i did with him and i ended up making a fool out of myself lol. but i figured

out my mistake in a minute and now i have it perfect! and it sounds so good! im really proud of myself hehe. ok ur probly thinkin "y she gettin so excited over learning a small part on the piano???" ok ok wel i am 😛 so there. its my fave classical peice 🙂

well ne ways im reading a really good book right now! its called Enders Game by Orson Scott Card. and its realllly good! i usually never like science fiction but i cant put this one down! i was gonna read another romance but this book was assigned last week to my whole class and its actually great even tho theres no romance!

ok wel i gotta go get ready for bed now. byes for nowsys!

Hannah Banana

wow haha, i actually remember that day like it was yesterday!  And Clare De Lune is still my faveorite classical piece yet ^_^

I Actually Met Someone….       Monday May 18th 2004

My Horoscope For Today: Capricorn

Monday, May 18th teen horoscope

Don’t feel dorky for asking how that guy or girl you care about is feeling. You have to be honest and open up — otherwise, how else are you going to find out what they’re thinking?

if someone really wants me to know what they are feeling and thinking, they would tell me, i shouldnt have to ask. If a person cant tell me how they feel, then i assume its not that important to them for me to know. first of all i have to say, im not being selfish, im single, and im not committed to anyone right now. Everyone knows that. I never expected this new person  to happen, but it did, and im going to see where it leads.

Ok….well lots of things are goin on in my life right now, and im in a really tough situation thats been causing me sleepless nights and an aching heart. My mind is going crazy.  Im thinking, maybe its time to let go of the past (but i will never completely let go)and take a chance in having a serious relationship. this  new person is so great that i know if i pass them up then i might not find another guy like him here in washington,ever, or for a loong long time. I shouldn’t pass this new guy up because if i did and kept waiting for someone else im not even sure will ever be with me, then theres a possibility that the person ive been waiting for will also meet a great new person like i did, and then id have nobody.  Its time to take this new opportunity, i cant put my life on hold, passing up every guy, waiting for something that im not even sure will ever happen. I want a relationship, im ready for one, and this guy i met is ready too, but of course im taking things really really slow and getting to know him right now. I dont even know if ill end up going out with him, i guess my decisions will depend on whatever happens in the next few months, i dont know. It all depends on how i feel, and when this war between my heart and mind ends. ne ways i will be writing private entrys from now on. This diary doesnt allow me to reveal my real thoughts on things and im not able to be personable when i know people i know are reading this. So this is my last public entry. well, maybe not my last, once i a while there will probably be an entry or two thats public. well, i have to go to bed now. goodnight.
hannah *sigh* 

So here im guessing it was about tyler….lol oh how naive I was back then….but It was a good thing that happened ^_^ I learned so much from it!

DANG IT        May 20th, 2005

GOSH DANG IT! I JUST WROTE THE LONGEST ENTRY EVER AND I ACCIDENTALLY CLICKED SOMETHING AND IT ALL WENT AWAY! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! now im going to have to make a summary. man. no ill write the rest of this entry tomorrow because now its too late to start over 😛 gosh im pissed. ok goodnight.
later:

LOL i know that feeling haha. well i guess i never got to the later part!

OH MY! lol i would have posted the next entry but it is a little…too detailed lol and too personal haha *blush*

 

My Special Place      May 25th 2007

   while everyone in my acting class is doing their relaxation excercises in order to focus better, our instructor always tells us to go to our special place of relaxation, where we felt most at peace with the world. every time, it takes me back to the grassy ocean cliffs of kodiak island. suddenly im back there, laying sprawled out among the grasses and flowers 50 feet up from the ocean waves breaking along the rocks. i can hear the seagulls and the waves crashing, the wind is gently blowing my face. everything is still and i cant help but smile and feel overjoyed and overcome with love and peace and harmony. i have never felt more happy and at one with myself than in those moments. i tried to find a picture of my special place, but of course, there are no pictures of kodiak cliffs i could find that show the true beauty and feeling of that moment. the only one i could find is a painting, but if definitely represents my special place

The picture was no longer there, oh wells!

so yea, as for today I woke up at 10 to take my dad to the airporter because hes heading out to china for a week or so. Then I drove to Tacoma for my alcahol mixology permit class which went from 1-4:30 pm. Carol (the lady teaching the class) was funny and a good at keeping the lecture entertaining and interesting. my eyes didnt droop once! I was amazed! A few years back I took this same class with a different lady and I could barely stay awake!

after that I went home and helped my mom put away groceries. Then we watched "Dan In Real Life" which was a very cute movie indeed ^_^

Im not writing much right now because I am super tired and struggling to keep my eyes open. 😛 alright goodnight diary.

Hanny

 

 

Hannah  

OH MY GOSH…i cant believe that I actually wrote that….its crazy how much i’ve changed… lol man thats hilarious. ok next one haha