part of my bible

I do not know why ,but I felt motivated to write down some of my many golden rules. I live by these, or at least try to most of the time ^_^   This is a big part of who I am. The relationships with the people in my life, and being kind to people in general, is number one in my list of great importance. these are not listed in any sort of order, just typing them down as they come to me.

always treat others as you want to be treated

do something nice for someone as often as possible, you have no idea how sometimes the smallest things can really change someones life in a positive way, and they will forever cherish it

if you find yourself disliking someone whether its for their personality, quirks, or nervous habits, realize that it’s not their problem, it’s yours.  so if you dont have something nice to say, do not say anything at all.

when you have the choice to either be mean or kind, be kind. life is short and you should spend your time bringing more positive energy into the world.

if someone upsets you or ther e is something someone did or said that bothered you, always always talk about it with that person. by keeping it inside you are choosing to believe that your thoughts about that situation are true instead of opening up and getting to the real source of the problem. 
(i find that by talking things out, a lot of my assumptions are completely wrong.)

if you are angry or hurt by somebody, do not lash out. screaming and yelling will only make the other person get defensive and that will not get you anywhere. instead, after calming down , ask the person if they could have a talk with you. by asking in a non accusing nature your friend/sibling/spouse, whomever will be more than willing to oblige and listen (at least they should if they care)

however in some cases there are those people who have a hard time taking any sort of criticism and will get defensive no matter what. with these types of people it is almost impossible to talk to them once they get in this state, they are no longer able to listen. here is one way to help keep that from happening.

without even thinking, most of us accuse more than explain when we talk to someone who we are angry at.
"you do this and you do that, and you are always like this" YOU YOU YOU.  instead, of pointing fingers, why not say something like "i feel this way when you say that, or when you do that it hurts my feelings" and then ask for their input. 
 
when somebody asks if they can talk with you about something it is harder than you think it is for them. nobody likes confrontation but it must be done and it takes a strong person to do so! take that into consideration before already putting up your guard. also, what they say to you is very important , for your relationship with that person and yourself. they might make you come to realizations about yourself that you were never able to see before. and unless this is a convorsation about something nice you did , it is usually something you learn about yourself that you dont like.

now a lot of people have a hard time looking at themselves or taking criticism because they are afraid they won’t like what they see. but what they don;t realize is by talking about these things, bringing them out in the open and becoming aware of them, you can work on fixing them and therefore becoming closer with the person/people you care about and developing your character. if you choose to ignore the things that people try to make you aware of, you are telling them that you are not willing to work on that friendship/relationship and that you have no interest in changing whatsoever. if this is something serious it could ruin everything between the two of you. if that person has reason to believe you will never change, they could give up on you. and to them you will have become a stagnent person who cannot grow emotionally.
 
When a friend comes to talk to you for support, listen.  do not emediately think of advice to say or ways to help fix the problem, really LISTEN to what they have to say and then be sure to ASK "would you like my opinion on th e matter?" sometimes people just need someone to talk to in order to vent and they do not want your advice.

stop worrying about what others think of you!  you should never feel you have to please everyone all the time in order for to be liked.  your true friends will love you despite your opinions, your bad habits, and your disagreements because they see all the light inside of you that nobody else can. anyone who doesnt love you for who you are should NOT MATTER. let allof those people go, dont think about them. worrying about why someone doesn’t like you is just giving them power over you. remember, if they dont like you, for whatever reason, ITS NOT YOU! its them! it is their problem!

and remember, i have to repeat this

treat others as you want to be treated