one of those days….

i dont know why, im usually just fine, but today…im very lonely. i dont know it just hit me like this big heavy weight on my heart. im not lookin for a boyfriend at all  right now, and im not going "ooh poor me waaaa" im just feeling what im feeling and that is lonliness. shit

i wish i had someone to fart and burp and be complete idiots with, or to lay out under the stars and just be silent

someone to have long talks with about nothing and everything, and someone who i can learn from in positive ways

someone who could spend every day with me if they wanted to, and never get bored

someone to come over with soup and flowers when im sick, or to surprise me by planning spontaneous trips and adventures.

i wish i had someone to look at me and really look at me, in a way where i just know, that to them, i am truly one of a kind , and they care for me more than words can tell.

and of course i know this will happen someday, when its meant to be. right now it might screw things up, but i cant help thinkin about it.  maybe we’ll bump carts at the grocery store, or maybe it will be someone who works with me that i just never seemed to notice. or maybe it will be someone that i become friends with and then things change. or maybe ill become famous and date another actor! i dont know,

all i know is that thinking about all this makes me sad and i need to stop. maybe im thinking about all this because im hearing all about what couples are doing for valentines day. love is in the air, everywhere i look around…

valentines day shmalentines day…..im glad im working that stupid holiday.

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everyone has those days when they feel more lonely than normal, even me. i never know why, but maybe in ur case it is that pointless valentines day.

well. for valentine’s day, i pretty much sat around in iraq. yeah. that’s about it. 🙂