this is reality

it seems to easy to just pretend that something isnt happening. like it doesnt exist. and then pretending almost seems like reality, until reality steps in every so often to remind you to wake up.

got a call from my grandpa today. my grandma almost fainted from severe pain….her first pain…

the cancer is starting to take its toll. Hospice is now there 24-7 to give her pain meds and take care of her every need….my poor granpa…being able to do nothing….to watch her suffer…and be able to do nothing….

they have been together since they were 18 years old. they just had their 60th wedding anniversary! she is the love of his life….as much as i feel bad for my grandma, i feel worse for him.

he has to suffer a broken heart.

i never thought about it before, but i am now……when people fall in love.

and get married

         and have children
                      
                           and grow old together…. does it ever cross their minds that they arent going to leave this earth at the same time? 

that one of them would have to endure the pain of losing their one true love first….

i hate this….

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November 14, 2007

wow, what an amazing realization. never thought about that myself either.

November 14, 2007

i hope by that time in my life, if im faced in this situation, i will be okay with death and understand. its a scary thing. death. no, i wrote that piece. ive heard that stuff i write sounds familiar from a few people. more than a few. i dont think im stealing my songs or ideas from others, if its too similar, its completely unintentional.

November 15, 2007

thanks for the note. cancer sucks for everyone involved. May you be filled with LovingKindness May you be Well May you be Peaceful and at Ease.

Woah. Sorry. Erh. I can’t. i’m a wuss. x_X