its funny…..

our love died a long time ago , took a while, but the pain finally subsided.
our friendship died as well later on , and i think that was harder, it has been a long time since we have even spoken, but a few nights ago,
i felt you.

i was wide awake, sitting there in my room,
and i knew you were thinking about me, 
an unexplainable feeling of energetical warmth overwhelming me,
confusing me as to where it was being generated from.
 and yet, the was feeling so familiar, but hard to pin point
 then i remembered, 

it was a feeling
i havent felt in a very long long time,
a feeling i think we both constantly felt back then, 
when we used to be
constantly on each others minds
and so i knew, that at that moment,  i was on your mind
at least once again,
and it made me think,
that maybe
you wanted to talk?
which is why i knew that right then , when i turned on my laptop 
you would be online on my messenger.
i hadn’t seen you online in years,
i figured, that after we fell apart, you blocked me, deleted me,
or just never went on,
but this time,
for an unknowable reason,
 i knew you would be on messenger,
just like you always used to be,
every night so that we could talk online  ,
and the miles between us would dissappear,
so i signed on, held my breath,
and there you were…..
your user name just sitting there,
it used to be so easy to just click on it and begin to tell you about the wonderful day i just had
but no,
not this time
this time there was a love that had been lost
and a friendship that could never be the same because of it ,
and because of that, the friendship became lost as well.
so, i just waited….
and wondered if you were thinking the same thing as me,
are they going to say something? anything? if i was going to say anything, what would i say?,
but i didnt
and you didnt,
and you went offline.
and the feeling of warmth
was gone,
the moment
ended.

yes, everything between us has died,
but i can still feel you. over all the miles, i can still feel you.
how peculiar