another update

so another quarter ends and another quarter starts and already, its the quarter before summer begins! feels like only yesterday that i went on the dig last summer! time feels like its flying by faster and faster and i see myself looking back at great memories more and more, and missing those days more and more. everything is fun when you are younger. everything is magic, and discovery, and adventure, and emagination, and chasing the boys, and having crushs on boys but pretending you like them, and dances, and parties, and truth or dare.  Then peer pressure, falling down, picking up a rock when you stand each time, having so many regrets but realizing later that everything put together makes up who you are, and all the while learning more and more. you never stop learning, no matter how old you get or no matter how much time passes by. So far my life hasnt been anything like growing up with abusive parents, or not having enough money for food, or anything horrible that makes a person feel sympathy towards you, but if i could write a book about my life, i think it would be very interesting to read and i think people would enjoy it. Sometimes i feel like taking the best memories and chapters of my life, and simplifying them into a book. I am so glad that i kept my diaries since the 5th grade! Sometimes i wish i could go back and have fun all over again but knowing everything i know now. wouldnt that be interesting? It’s also interesting how the people you are close to currently are the people you assume you will stay close to all your life. Things never turn out the way you think, you just cant predict it! I am not close with the majority of people that i thought id stay close with when i was in kodiak. Only maybe 3 or four friends i grew up with and that is it. Here I could say the same thing. 3 or four of these people will stay close with me. For all i know, when i leave, or move around, or wherever i go in this life on this earth, there are people out there that i have no idea that i will become close with. and they have no idea that they will meet me yet! So many people to play in so many chapters of my life. Every day is a mystery.
            I guess my life is pretty much fine the way it is right now. everythings good ^_^ the only thing i miss is being in love. i want so badly to find that again, and so many people tell me i wont and sometimes i believe it. maybe i will never be satisfied with anyone, am i too picky? all i want is to find someone who i can roll on the ground laughing with and joke with and be stupid and goofy with and fart around and lay out and look at the stars with while talking about everything emaginable and using our emaginations to create funny ideas that entertain ourselves. pretty much someone to love, but also be a great friend, a real other half. the one person who makes you feel like you are unique in all ways and there is nobody like you, in a good way ^_^ someone who will never get sick of me and i will never get sick of them, and doesnt act differently with his friends then he is with me because all of us hang out together and have a great time. and my friends and his friends hang out, that would be sweet. someone who doesnt have to act like a boyfriend all the time, meaning every time we are together doesnt have to be mushiness or sweet talk or i love you’s , just appreciating each others companionship and making great memories and having great adventures and learning from each other. i hope and pray to god i find what i am looking for, no matter how long it takes. i want to feel that way again. right now, as i sit here eating my craisins, I wonder why these certain thoughts always come to my head. Its almost like a trance when i write, like my thoughts just flow and i follow whatever comes to mind next not being able to control it, not thinking about controlling it, but just typing. oh well, its late and ive lost my thought process. ^_^
goodnight
hannah