today and yesterday

my horoscope for today:Although you can be hard on others, you’re always hardest on yourself. Lighten up! You’re much more capable than you give yourself credit for, and obstacles will fall away once you remember to discipline and structure your actions

my singles love horoscope for today:Be disciplined about this and it will work out in your favor in the long run. Of course you want to gush about this person. But being circumspect is wise at this stage

hmm well, my first horoscope is kinda correct kinda not, im hard on others when im on pms haha and yea a little pushy sometimes but its not really my characteristic. but i am REALLY hard on myself yea. i think thats why im always so stressed out 😛 and i dont even realize it. i really am scared of so many obstacles on the way. man beginning a life on your own is scary! ok so about the singles love horoscope. theres really nobody i feel like gushing about right now haha so thats kinda wrong.
WARNING: this first section of the entry has some grose girl talk about periods and stuff and my experience at the gynecologist. so unless you want to read about that, go to the next section to hear about my day today!
any who i had my first gynecologist apointment the other day. it was terrible. i had to get naked and wear this gown that has no front and so its pretty much just to make you feel more covered or something. any who i havent been naked in front of an adult like that since my mom gave me baths when i was little. ugh. i went in the room and saw the stirrups for the legs and i was like AAAAAAAAAAHHH! and i saw these long tools and the thing they use to spread the vagina apart to mess around in it. ugh. it was so uncomfortable and i was soo tense! she stuck this q tip down there in some hole that i didnt even knew existed and it hurt like a mother. i was crying! like ow, OW , OW OW OW OW OOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! god i hope sex isnt like that. then she stuck her finger up my vagina all the way and pressed with her fingers above it. ew. that would have really sucked if i got pleasure from that. emagine your first time getting fingered and gettin an orgasm at the gynecologist. that would suck! i wonder if that ever happened to any girls? so yea. then i hate to get my blood drawn and the lady like popped my vein cus she stuck the needle in too far and now theres a bruise that hurts really bad. sigh. just my luck. i am SOOO lucky i didnt have to have a papsmere! i didnt have to get one because im still a virgin haha. well ill have to get one when im 21. oh yea and guess what. im on birth control now! im on it to help my hormonal imbalance( i get more moody than most ppl on my period) and to clear my skin. oh and my mom went to a phsycic who is supposed to be really really good, and i guess she said that i have endimetriosis which is a growth disease that many many women get down on their ovaries. you can only know if you have it by surgically looking. so my mom mainly made me go to the gynecologist cus of that not knowing that you cant check for that from a papsmere. anyway im really scared. what if i do have it? its a growth that creates a lot of pain during periods (which is what i have) and more mood swings than usual. (uh oh) but i guess the doctor said that if i had any sort of endimetriosis the birth control would help me get rid of it, but it would come back. sigh. anyway i dont think its something really serious. like i dont think ican die from it.

ok so yea, ill talk about today now!
last night i  spent the night at justins house because he and craig invited me over and i had a few beers. i guess some beer isnt that bad! anyway it was fun. jenna tim was there and we had kinda stopped talking since 9th but we talked some and shes still really cool. shes so pretty, tall and skinny! and there was a guy named emilio who was just a cutie! too bad he was going to be a junior this year. i was like wow. Brandon Siemen was there too and i think hes one of the coolest guys i met at school! i met craig frm the first time i went to justins with courtney. justin i never really personally got to know until now a little. theres a lot about him that is really different from how he seemed to be before. any who after jenna left it was me and the guys and it was like 3:30 am and they all decided to make a beer bong and each chug a beer from it! then they looked at me and were like, "oh but you dont have to its ok" now, theres no way guys are going to think that i cant do something that they can do, so of course i said "ok i guess ill do it too!" so after all the guys got their beers done (only 2 out of 4 of them finished theirs) i chugged a half of a beer and got it all down! it was more than some of the guys had chugged haha. i was so proud of myself. it wasnt even as bad as i thought it would be! i was like yaya! not that its a good thing for ppl to be proud of me that i chugged beer from a beer bong, but i was just glad i could do something that guys think girls cant be good at. any who we went to bed around 4:30 and i woke up around 9:45 and left around 10:05. man the night was so fun! all of those guys are freakin cool! emelio didnt say much but i could tell he was having fun. any who, after i got home, i took a shower and ate breakfast, then my mom called with a mission for me. she said she had left her medications at home along with a shirt and some water bottles they had meant to bring along. they told me the drive would be about 2 hours and they would pay me to go. i would have gone even if they didnt pay me becaues its driving experience by myself, but that was a better incentive hehe. So i got the directions, got the stuff, grabbed the dog, and drove out to the key peninsula beaches. they were right, it was a looong drive! phew!  i kept getting lost too! when i got there my jaw dropped open! the beach was beautiful. all smooth stones on the shore and in the water that was crystal clear. the house was white with white pillars and arches and had big baskets of shells and starfish and what not collected from the beach. my mom came to  the door and she told me the house was her friend brigetas. they were staying there with her permission! man, that seriously was a million dollar house or more. mostly because of the property but omg. that house was so peaceful just by the look of it. the carpet was shampayne white, and the walls were white, and the curtains were tan and the windows were HUGE! with a beautiful view of the beach. the rooms were so fancy with complete bed spreads and matching everything! i couldnt believe how peaceful that place was. it was so quiet! there werent even that many seagulls! and the water was just lapping quietly onto the shore. not a breeze. sigh. if i had known how it would be there i would have been even more eager to go ! i stayed with bo (our dog) for a few hours throwing sticks for him and finding sand do

llars in the water and picking up cute little scuddling crabs! it was really nice. my mom says she can talk to her friend about getting us to stay out there! just our family! (including megan cus she lives with us) and we could bring the kiyacks! how fun would that be! the drive back was easy and didnt seem as long as the way there seemed. now i could go there anytime without directions. when i got back home i took anotoher shower and then mike came over and we vegged all the rest of the day. craig and justin called about me goin to their party but i was tuckered out and i wouldnt know that many ppl there. all of my friends are gone or busy or stuck at home. well its really late now and i should be gettin to bed! goodnight yall!
hannah