GROUNDED! damnit!
Hey everyone, thanks for checkin in on me. maggie,shell bell, cara,and everyone im sorry but im grounded from the computer till the end of the school year cus of my grades which is y i snuck down at 2am today to go online without ne one knowing! arnt i smart 🙂 well i cant wait until next month cus im goin back home to kodiak! YES! gosh but its all gonna pass so fast 🙁 and before i know it its gonna feel like moving again and im gonna go through the whole depression thing again 🙁 o yea for ppl who want to know where i got the smileys i got them at plaudersmileys.com so yea check them out 🙂 i tried puttin other pics on my diary and they seem to work at first but the next time i load onto my diary the pics are not there so i just quit 😛 gosh i missed writing in here! omg the 9th grade dance is coming up and its so not fair. almost everyone i ask has a date to the dance but not me. courtney has guys all over her begging and i dont have ne one 🙁 my friends say its cus im too outgoing. well maybe its cus im just new. or maybe the guys here think im ugly and stupid 🙁 in kodiak many guys liked me but its a whole different story now. i dont like ne one here but just to have no guy like me at all makes me feel like im not worth it ya know? i still like adriel alot but im goin through a tought stage.he only likes me wen i dont like him cus wen i like him he doesnt like me. he only wants what he cant have and hes selfish too. he says he doesnt want me to date until i die or something. **** that. he doesnt have control over my life like that. i hate him for wat hes doin cus he makes me feel like he likes me and then suddenly he doesnt ne more. like before wen we were kinda in a relationship but not really he liked me and i was happy but then he dint and i got hurt and now i hear he likes me again just cus i might be over him. well i dont want him playin with me like that. its either all or nothing and if he just wants to keep me from other guys and hold me as a backup then he can just plain forget about me all together cus then even if i do have ne feelings for him i would never act to them watsoever and i certainly would find another guy. but then theres the thing about dating. maybe i wont find another guy. in the first place im scared to havea relationship wat soever becus i know ill just get hurt. i mean no guy is gonna date me and end up marrying me. they are all just gonna dump me sooner or later ya know wat i mean. so y date? and if i did find a guy who would marry me then he would be a very special guy that doesnt come too often.but how would i know that unless i took a chance? AHHHHH its all so confusing 🙁 well ne ways i guess ill go for now.
congrats to ne one who finished reading this.hehe
Hannah