5/3/2004

Wow, I fucking love people.  I really do. (Note the sarcasm)

Hahaha, all this shit really cracks me up.  Seriously, it’s all completely messed up.  As most of you know, I WAS going to senior prom with Nigel, but i guess because of the fact that I have no feelings for him in anyway and am on the verge of despising him, he decided to call it off.  Oh yes, and this was after the fact he asked someone else. Asshole.  Yeah, I may not like you very much and be relieved that I’m not going with you anymore, but atleast have the decency to fucking tell me how you feel or what you’re gonna do.  Whatever.  I also love how I would tell people one thing, and they would tell everyone else they know and totally change what the hell i said.  Every time people come up to me at lunch asking me if a rumor is true, it’s like they think I’m the scum of the goddamn earth.  What the hell?!?!?!  I never did anything, yet half the entire school knows my business?? What the fuck.  Seriously.  I also love how when I would tell people stuff about how I feel about him or the wholething, they wouldn’t keep their damn moths shut.  I guess that’s how the whole school found out about every little thing I said.  I’m just glad this whole thing is over…now some of my friends can stop saying to me in lunch, “Oh, he’s mad at you now…” or “You’re in deep shit with him…”  Yeah, that helps….not.  I swear to god, I seriously hate people sometimes.

Hmm, well i guess besides the bullshit that he and my friends have put me through, I get’s even betterrrrrrr.  My grandfather isn’t looking so good…I mean, another 4 months in ICU?  Uh, yeah, that’s just a bit extreme…anyways, he’s probably not gonna make it; he probably has another few weeks or so.  It’s not that I’m too upset about it an all right now, it’s just dealing with my mom.  I’m seriously afraid to go home and fnd her upset or whatever.  I just really can’t deal with that at all.  I’ve never had to deal with someone close to me dying, so this is a big thing for my family.  Unlike some people who I actually felt comfortable telling, don’t write it off with a, “Well, all my grandparents are dead anyway.”  Yeah, that helps.  Thanks for caring, cause I really don’t feel comfortable telling people how I feel about stuff and how I feel.  So if I wanna tell you, atleast act like maybe you have some sympathy, cause I don’t get much anywhere else.  People can be so goddamn ignorant.

So let’s recap the last couple of days…can’t go to school, can’t go home…gotta love it.  And they wonder why the hell I’m depressed.