Be Cool

So the day is over and when it came time for everything to be taken I get a crying phone call. She wants the tv, she wants to try to buy the table and she wants the nightstand. Surprise. She tried to talk me into giving her the table for a while, I let her try for whatever reason…I guess I just wanted to hear what she’d say. She’s not getting the table, that’s mine. I let her keep the old school tv, no one wants it. I have three just because I never donated the one she has and I have a big screen LCD and a portable LCD with a DVD player that I use for workouts.. Her first text…she writes normally I swear, this is just what she does on the phone…still bugs me though. She has a full keyboard and so do I.

Her:R u going to give me my things back since u r taking every little thing from me?

Me:They know about the TV, I’ll think about bringing you the table until I need it again. Don’t tell Audrey that, I’m not sure that you’ll get it but I’ll think about it.

Her: okay, thank you tyler i understand why u want to keep it its a nice table i guess i just got attached to it. Thank you.

I talked to her after this, we go into why things happened and I ask why she wouldn’t give up something cheap for me. She wouldn’t even consider not talking to the french bastard she slept with. So, that’s it.

I’m giving her the nightstand back, she painted it, she can keep it. I’d rather not have the reminder around me anyways.

I’ve thought a lot today about why I knew I didn’t love her but stayed…She doesn’t have the same intellectual capacity as me…as pointed out by the way she texts, sad but true. That’s not me being high and mighty it’s just that she knows how to write but chooses not to. She’s a stoner so whenever she drives after she smoked a bowl I have to tell her where to go and she doesn’t understand left and right even normally.

I can talk about a lot of things. I love Geology, Philosophy, Theology, Science (I explained how planets were formed soo many times and she doesn’t get the whole gravity concept…she thinks it has to do with speed of collisions between asteroids) Astrology, History with context, Politics….whatever, I like lots of subjects and know a little about some and a lot about others. I studied Geology and Philosophy before settling on Studying English.

Long story short I started writing a new song that starts out very Du-wopish but ends in a very angry metal. It felt FUCKING AMAZING to play my half stack today. God, I’ve played a little modeling amp for a year and I have touched my baby….so good….so good. It’s not done with and I’ll finish the lyrics later as I’m having trouble being objective at the moment. I liked the idea that Volbeat had with the song Still counting so I thought I’d run with it and have it finish Tool/Deftone-ish. The lyrics aren’t done, I just started writing them down on here. It’s called be cool though.

 

I know, to be cool.

When you’re breaking all the rules

You should try, to understand

That you shouldn’t shit where you stand.

My heart. might fade away

And drift into the gray

but if I see, the end in time

I’ll know that you were never mine.

(angry part…sort of ‘vicarioius’ from tool)

Don’t throw your life at me now

You’ve walked away and you’re disavowed

 

 

I don’t care to write more lyrics…once she gets my mic and cord back I’ll start recording things again.

 ** Edit…

Everything I mentioned that she wanted was originally mine…the nightstand I had painted already but she painted over everything I’d done. She doesn’t have much there now but I don’t have to feel sorry for someone that cheated on me twice. I’ve left things I owned with people before and I’m not even afraid of putting my foot down. They need things that I don’t have and I feel for that…but I didn’t cheat on anyone and my feelings don’t change because someone needs something they don’t deserve from me.

…I think that’s all…