Uptick

 One thing alcohol does to me is constant interrupt my sleep.  Like wake up every two hours, almost with fail and eerie close to EXACTLY every two hours.  One positive(?) is that I remember my dreams better in this state.  I recall about one dream every three months.  Recently, I’ve remembered quite a few actually, even if they tend to make zero sense.  I wrote down bits and pieces of this one; the most unusual parts were a department store robbery in which I hid in a rack of coats, a living room filled with coupons to mail to friends (not me, Sara, as to why, shrug), and a missed field goal in a Florida/Florida State game, which might be the most random thing I’ve ever dreamed about.  I honestly can’t recall why Sara was in this one.  She didn’t really do anything in it.  Weird.  But I’m keeping my distance for now.

Focusing on other things, today’s jog was light because I didn’t wake up for good until 10 o’clock.  Afterwards I went grocery shopping, told myself I’d spend $20 (not high on cash right now), ended up spending $50, and went all carnivore with it.  Hoping more protein will help me in my quest to build a little more muscle.  #1 So I can look better when/if dating again, and #2 (the healthier reason) because it makes me feel more confident and better about myself knowing I’m trying to look better.

The movie plans I overslept through yesterday?  My friend Deandre texted me this afternoon and we went and saw Kickass 2.  Not having seen the first, I was surprised by the violence.  They didn’t highlight that in the commercials.  I wasn’t upset by it; I’ve seen my fair share of 70’s kung fu films, just surprised is all.

One thing I’ve noticed about doing this diary; I’ve quite randomly come across a handful of people whose life experiences I can relate to. Really relate to.  People I can root for.  And no, that doesn’t come naturally for me.  Maybe I’m on my way to making a few friends on here (well online journal-y friends, whatever exactly that is) but that works for me.  This is actually the most calm/stable I’ve been in a few weeks.  If I can finally get the wheels turning again, things might get interesting.  Maybe I’ll go to the art museum that I’ve been meaning to do all summer this week.  Or feed the ducks/geese again.  Try to focus on me again, like I have to remind myself to do every 4 or 5 months.

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August 18, 2013

Oh, and I forgot. I spruced up my page, added a pic and some interests since I figured out some things here.

Your pic reminds me of my oldest son, he’s 15 & has high-functioning Autism. I think you mentioned something having Aspergers? My oldest has that. I’m better at making online friends than real ones & its better than nothing, otherwise I think I would just die from loneliness. Baby steps, taking one day at a time helps. Take care 🙂

August 18, 2013

You most definitely do! It’s coming back from the lows that are the hardest part but once everything is in motion it generally will come together. -Kelci

August 19, 2013

I sleep so well after having a drink or two. Isn’t it interesting how alcohol affects us in different ways. You find different people from different walks of life on here, those that you mightn’t gel with naturally in person. That’s why I love online communication sometimes.

August 19, 2013

Sounds like you & I use the same sleep aid. Interesting dreams there. They say dreams are your subconscious talking w/your imagination 🙂 Viva la Carnivore! (And if that’s you in the profile pic, you don’t have a thing to worry about, be confident LOL) Haven’t seen Kickass 2, the 1st one really creeped me out in 1 scene…won’t be watching the sequel as result. Glad you like it here! Have fun!

August 19, 2013

Alcohol has the same effect on me lately as well. It never used to. I’ve always found that to be the best things about online journaling, you find like people and you find hope in them, hope FOR them and hope in them for yourself. Thank you for your note…