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Tuesday is often my craziest or second craziest day of work.  Honestly, it wasn’t too bad.  Stress is usually a factor, but this Tuesday was handled with mostly aplomb.  So I considered myself lucky.  It helps that my Coke vendor showed up after I left, making it one vendor I didn’t have to deal with at all.

Oh, I’m an "inventory control manager" at a grocery store.  I deal with Coke, Pepsi, Frito Lay, etc. deliveries and merchandising.  and keeping up with tons of paperwork.  It’s a challenge, although I hope for greater challenges in the future.

If anyone is interested.

Afterwards, I visited my family.  They don’t live far.  Not far at all.  Much of my family lives in the Dallas area.  I’ve distanced myself for far too long.  Just following the example of my mom, who for reasons of social anxiety maybe(?) isn’t close to them.  But my immediate family at least, I’m getting closer to again.  They never really accepted my ex-wife, Casey, acted sooooo much differently when she was around.  Like much more boring and conservative versions of themselves.  And I visited only once every couple months for reasons of I don’t know.  I now visit once a week, one benefit of this divorce business.  It’s been a year and a half by the way, again if anyone is interested.  I always feel safe in that place, like the world can’t enter those walls, no matter how much I hurt or feel like garbage.  And because of that, it’s valuable.  Like a base in tag.  Except the game of tag is life.  I don’t even have a close relationship with anyone there, we just joke around making fun of things.  And yet, it’s kinda what I want.  Me and close relationships usually don’t mix.  Usually comes with trouble.  I keep a distance with my friends for the same reason; except I’ll randomly be very open with them sometimes, because I promised myself that expression is crucial, another thing I learned from this divorce business.  Even though right now, I’m not in a good place, not in a good place at all, I’m a much better person than I was 3 years ago.  I might have been happier then, but I wasn’t the individual I am now.

After I left home, I headed back to my apartment, but not before buying some margarita mix to make use of the tequila that had gone down as a poor impulse buy.  Made it workable at least.  The drinking isn’t good, but it helps me relax, and forget a bit. 

I kinda like this journal thing; fits in with the expression.  The idea that someone could read it makes it cooler.  Maybe I can make some friends here.  Helping myself isn’t quite a strong suit, but maybe I can help others with my ears and my advice.  Much better at that. Comments always appreciated; maybe one will make my day : )