Saturday Morning

March 10,2018

I am up and blessed with another day. I didn’t sleep very well. I was up around 2 a.m. I went back to bed. I was up again and went back to bed. In addition I had some very weird dreams. I remember this one dream. I was walking along in the country with my sister. I guess this was back in the time of the Civil War. We passed a Confederate recruiting station They were singing Confederate songs. Being for the Union I began singing Union songs. I thought there was going to be trouble but they let us pass. Then we came across a Union camp. I remember talking to this one soldier and I said God bless you. I wanted to join but was too young.

Then I remember the dream jumped back into the future after the war. Somehow I got involved in it. I remember seeing all the horrors of the battlefield. Men were coming home from the conflict broken, and maimed. I saw a lot of men with missing limbs. It was pretty gruesome. Then they were talking about particular battles they were in. They were describing some really horrible events. I was writing all of this down. I think i was going to write a book or something.

Then I had another dream. Again we were walking along a country road. We see a fence along the road. There were all kinds of animals from Africa. I remember seeing an elephant., In this one dream there were cattle as well or some kind of strange looking animals. I was talking to this one farmer. He wanted me to brand this one animal. There was this branding iron resting in the fire. All I had to do was pick it up and brand the animal. But I didn’t want to do it because it would hurt the animal. The farmer said something smart to me. I put the branding iron down and walked away from him.

We kept walking. Again we saw all of these strange animals. By then I was carrying my sister because she fell a sleep. I kept hearing growling noises. There was this one animal that I couldn’t make out what it was. He came right up to the fence. I remember getting afraid. But we kept walking down this country road. Then we came to this building. We went into the building and walked through all kinds of maze. We came to this window or something. We had to get out of the building and move on. But there was no ladder. My sister said we could climb down. I said we were trapped. Then we did find another door. But when my sister went through the door there was this grizzle bear blocking the way. He was about to attack her . I grabbed her and pulled her back in. This was when I woke up

I had another bad day Saturday. I remember waking up and feeling very depressed an anxious. I really felt like a train wreck. I was looking forward to my caregiver coming, Then she didn’t show up. She usually leaves a message about when she is coming to work. Yesterday no message. I was kind of down about that. I think there were other factors that contributed to the depression. But I really can’t find a reason. Now that I think of it perhaps the erratic sleep habits and weird dreams might be playing a part.

Anxiety was also high. I think I was worried about the phone situation. I was torn between a choice between buying a phone from Amazon or Harriet Carter. The phone from Amazon didn’t come with an adapter. But it was a lot cheaper. I was leaning towards the one from Amazon which would have been around $20.Then I kept thinking about my credit card balance. I was saying to myself I really can;’t afford to put anymore charges my card. But I also kept saying to myself I need a phone that works. Thinking about finances and putting more money on my card was causing a lot of anxiety. Then again like depression I really do not need a reason to be anxious.

But I ended up having a fairly good day. I had company. I think it was around nine or ten. I called Ann e. I asked if she would like to come up. She said yes. Her ex husband Doug was with her. We all sat down and chatted over coffee. Subject of the conversation quickly changed to phones. I was looking at this one caption phone I have. It came with an adapter. I unplugged this and said I have an adapter I was going to use this and order that phone from Amazon. Anyway Anne and Doug talked me into fixing the old caption phone. She called the company. They walked her through getting the phone working again. To make a long story short they were able to fix the phone. I now have a phone that works and I didn’t have fork out money that I do not have.

They stayed a long time. I appreciated the company. I was very depressed and didn’t want to be alone. They left around noon and came back later. We had a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. Doug stayed until 3 Then we had supper at 5. We had a Hungry Man tv dinner.

We watched the local news. Anne left around 6 We chatted on Facebook for a while then I said I was getting tired. I think I read for a little bit then went to bed around 8