An update!

Because I’m home for Thanksgiving and kind of bored. Also watching The Evil Dead 2 and there’s a bit too much WTF for me at the moment. 

J was here for Thanksgiving (he left this morning). I think it went pretty well. The first day was pretty awkward; everyone was kind of shy and quiet. But at least nothing terrible happened. There was a touch of tension during dinner (over song lyrics and languages..not even worth going into, honestly).  Oh, and my dad got all exasperated carving the turkey – it sounds weird, but we never actually do turkey in my family. Anyway, my dad threw a bit of a hissy fit when he hit bone or whatever so I had to take over. Of course I didn’t do so well either, and at one point J took my hand in his hand to guide me – it sent tingles up my hand when he did that and turned a shit situation into something special <3. 

It’s still not clear how my parents feel about J. They certainly don’t hate him, which is something, lol. I think (or hope?) that they are realizing how serious we are (because apparently it wasn’t clear from us having dated for six years, albeit 4+ of them being long distance). They don’t have to love him for now, just accept him.

I moved to Philly at the beginning of November. What an absolute clusterfuck this whole lab moving experience has been. Many things are still not fully sorted (with the most important being my freakin salary!!), but it’s getting better. I was SO mad at E for not being here to help set up the lab. I understand she wanted to be with her husband for as long as possible, and I understand it’s mostly my idiot boss’s fault for mismanaging EVERYTHING, but I can’t help being resentful of her. I got totally fucked in having to come here on my own. I had to figure everything out for myself (and believe me, between the lab setup and all the hospital employee bullshit, there’s A LOT of random shit to deal with) and she’s going to show up and have it all neatly spelled out for her. I wish I could be a better person and be happy for her, but I’m not, I’m just not, so fuck her, and fuck my boss. 

Deep breath. What happens to her has nothing to do with me. Her being able to hit the ground running, whether at my expense or not, doesn’t change my situation. 

And you know what’s strange? When I come up for air and rise above the petty jealousy, that is, when I really stop to think about it, I don’t even consider her my competition. So she may graduate faster. So what? She is not and will never be my equal. I know that sounds super arrogant, but so be it. I think I’m a better scientist, and that’s that. 

   
Anyway. I’m liking Philly for the most part. Had some apartment issues at the start – this is going to sound extra stupid, but bear in mind, I only had 2 days to find a place – never sign a lease having viewed a unit "identical" to the one you’ll be getting. The walls in my apartment look like shit compared to the place I saw. As an aside, E’s apartment looks fine (she also rented an identical unit having never seen any apartments in the building, solely based on my recommendation). Lucky fucking me, right. I was raving mad. But then I realized that my unit actually has more kitchen counter space than either of the others, so I calmed down. Still looking for creative ways to cover up some of the ugliest wall space, but I’ll live. It’s also super loud in the mornings, even though I’m on the 6th floor.

Loving being only 2 hours away from J, that’s for sure 🙂 

Now that I’m more or less settled in, I’m starting to feel a bit lonely. All my friends are back in STL, and I’m missing hanging out with people. It would also be great to have someone to explore the city with (though J will be around for that on weekends). My new co-workers are really great, but they’re quite a bit older and not really in the same place in life as I am. I did have lunch with some kids in MD/PhD program here, and while they seemed nice enough, we haven’t really hung out since then. I’m actually thinking of re-connecting with a friend from high school whom I just discovered (via facebook) lives here now. Also, E will be here soon, and I’m sure we’re going to spend a lot of time together, but I’m gonna need other people. The new postdoc, R (and his partner, who seems super cool as well), are coming in December, so that’ll be nice too, especially since they’ve lived in Philly before and could introduce me to all their favorite spots, etc.

At any rate, I think this is a decent length update, so I’m going to stop here. Until next time.