Codependency

I texted him the other day about my car finally being towed by the donations people. Maybe it didn’t come through in the message, but I was a touch sad about it. No response. No call that night either. He calls today, and is all excited about his great parking job in the snow, and how well work is going. WTF? I’m trying to share in his happiness, but really I’m still pissed off. I mention my car, and he’s sympathetic, but doesn’t reference my text from the day before. He says I sound sad and asks if something else is going on. So why the hell do I reply "not really" !?!? Because he’s in such high spirits and I don’t want to be a downer. Because it now seems like a minor thing, and I feel silly having pouted about it for an entire day. So I don’t bring it up, and try to put it out of my mind. Which works – for the duration of the call. We chat and laugh as usual. But two minutes after I hang up, I’m angry all over again.

So stupid, and so preventable. He does a lot to show me that he cares. Just today, I found out he’s making time to come for medschool prom, even though it’s right before a bunch of his deadlines for work. And I know he has poor text messaging etiquette with everyone, not just me. And it’s not as if I’ve never forgotten to respond to a text, if I’m having a busy day (which I know he was). BUT. None of this changes the fact that you’re not supposed to treat your girlfriend this way. Would he really be ok if I just ignored one of his texts? Really? Really? I guess it’s possible, but I’M obviously NOT ok, and I need to spell out for him that this kind of stuff (rare as it is) hurts me and makes me feel unimportant. And if that ruins his mood, then, well, that’s part of the lesson. No more of this codependency bullshit.