11/23/2011

It was nice to be home with the boys today. Lately I find myself obsessing over perfectionism at work, and I feel like it has distracted me from my real and most important job of being a mom. Ever since things went down with Will’s job I have an irrational (I hope? think?) fear that the same thing will happen to me. Deep down I know it won’t. I have had nothing but positive reviews from my boss, and I genuinely know in my heart I am a really good teacher. That sounds cocky, and I don’t mean it to, but teaching is one of the few areas in life where I feel really competent. I am also trying to cherish every moment in the classroom because I am afraid that when (if) we move I will be able to find another teaching job. 

Speaking of the boys, I could not be more in love with them. They are both at such fun ages! It is neat to see them developing a relationship. Jacob is, for the most part, very patient and loving towards Gav lately. I know it’s challenging for him because Gavin is into everything, but he’s learning to share and is overall pretty protective of his little brother. Gavin is becoming quite the little ham. He makes himself (and us) laugh constantly. It’s almost as if he knows what he is doing is funny. He will do something and then look at us expectantly like "Hello?! Did you not just see me being cute??". My favorite is that he now blows kisses. He is SUCH a mommy’s boy. If I am in the room I am the only person he wants. Very sweet.

We don’t have very many leads on Will’s job situation. Apparently there are two churches actively looking at him. One is in Jasper, Georgia and the other is in Austin, Texas. Both seem way too far away for me, but I’d pick Austin if those were our only two options. I’m still in denial for the most part. I just can’t imagine packing everything up and starting all over in a new place. There is NOTHING that excites me about that.

I am 25w2d pregnant. Baby girl seems to be doing well. She is in on track to be born in the 30% percentile. I am having monthly ultrasounds (due to my eating issues) and as long as she stays above 10% we are on track. She is breech as of now, but I’m sure she’ll turn in the next few weeks. I hope so because I really want to deliver vaginally again. When we watched her on the 4D ultrasound appt. Monday she was looking very cute. 🙂 She stuck her tongue out as us, and even peed!!

I saw Breaking Dawn yesterday. I haven’t read any of the books, but most of my co-workers are REALLY into them. It was actually pretty good. I thought I would be confused, but it was pretty easy to follow. Now I’m thinking I should read the books….I also want to read The Hunger Games.

I took the boys to see my former best friend and her kids today. Things have been SO awkward between us ever since she got pregnant and had her baby (Oct. 13). We went from being like sisters to feeling like strangers. I think most of it was just miscommunication. When we hung out today it instantly felt like old times. I really had missed her so much. I hope we are able to continue on this track…..I have a hard time letting people in. She is one of the few that really really knows me.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!!