Treatment time….

Well, tomorrow is finally the day I go into treatment. I thought I was mentally prepared, but as the reality of it sets in, I am freaking out a little bit. I am realizing what a control freak I can be. I hate that someone else will be making my decisions for me. There is freedom in the fact that I won’t have to think about what or when to eat (thoughts on those things seriously consume ridiculous amounts of my time), but it’s still scary. I hope I come out a changed person–not just temporarily changed like last time, but actually healed.

If anyone is curious, you can see pictures of the place on facebook. Just look up Castlewood treatment center. The place just looks like a big mansion. I feel like I am going to "Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew".  

 I am dreading saying good-bye to Jacob. Every time I looked at him today I got tears in my eyes. I wish I could make him understand what is about to happen. His world is about to be turned upside down, and he will undoubtedly be very confused. Will and Jacob are going to be living with my parents and there is a whole set "take care of Jacob" schedule that includes Will, mom, dad, and my two sisters. I know he will get lots of love and attention–I just wish I was the one giving it to him.

Will has been more than amazing lately. He is so patient. I really hope this improves our relationship. I want to be a better wife. I will be a better wife.

Okay…got to finish packing. I’ll update tomorrow after I get all moved in…..