3/25/07

I haven’t written in awhile. I don’t know how to compress my thoughts into this tiny space I call my diary. My emotions are all over the place. I find more and more that the one safe, stress free place is my bed. Sleeping has always been an escape for me–I am trying to keep myself from giving in.  My other escape (binge/purge) is in full effect. Yuck. I actually didn’t do it at all when I was in Mexico (for lack of resources, not urge). You would think I would feel encouraged/excited about that. Not so much. I will continue to see my therapist……….blah, blah, blah—the usual.

You know that feeling where you have so much to do that you don’t even know where to begin? Yep. That’s me right now. It was good to have the week away in Mexico, but now life to back as usual. Or, well, the usual for now. I have no usual since everything will be changing in a few months.

The euphoria has lightened and reality is setting in. I have so much to do between now and September 1st. I want to plan, but we can’t even do that until we know for sure(April 25th) where we will be moving. Have I mentioned before that I don’t like change?

The third grade teacher(also my closest friend) at my school was asked not to come back next year. She is one of the best most capable teachers at my school. I am so sad for her. The former principal didn’t like her, she spread that dislike to the new principal. He has never even taken the time to really get to know her or observe her as a teacher. This school can be so frustrating to me at times. Not much longer now.

My self esteem has been pretty low lately. Not entirely sure of the cause. Let’s hope it’s just my period talking.

Mexico was nice. I didn’t enjoy myself as much as I did last year. There was a more noticable difference between myself and the college students. College students are fun. I had forgotten how much more fun I used to be in college.   I missed Will a lot. It was great to reconnect with the Mexican people that I have been working with for the past three years. They recognized me and pulled out pictures from previous mission trips. It always amazes me how content and thankful these people are for what they have. Their houses are tiny and not in great shape. They have no running waters or inside bathrooms. When we come they cook for us and offer us any and everything they have to share. The kids are adorable. Such a peaceful place.

Alright….break time is over. I need to start writing lesson plans for the week ahead.

Hope everyone had a nice week!! I will try to be better about writing and noting this week!! 🙂