un=understable to me

OKay

so, I know everyone that knows about Ben, hates me talking about him…but right now. im having trouble dealing with me and him being over.

 i know its for the best. i do. I ended it. Me. I did the right thing. I moved on, sorta.

but I dont know how after 8 years…he can just..not want me apart of his life. its so weird to me to not talk to him, not tell him things, just…not have him in my life.

i dont know how hes doing this and i wish i had his strength.

8 years…is a long time. yet, it means nothing i guess *sigh*

bah. stupid pot smokers that live beside me. i can smell it so strong…gross *gags*

*runs around screaming*

tomorrows the wedding.

im so nervous its not even funny.