All You Need Is Love

why this irrational fear?- amanda

heh. im glad that you’ve researched this before you came to that conclusion however i could always offer up an opposing argument – a strong one at that. and i will not accept it because however little time we may have spent together in the last year i still hold your friendship very dear to me. you are a most important person in my life and probably one of the closest to me whether that be from –

trusting you so much or all the alcohol that makes me talk but i love you david. and you know that. so im not going to take your notes. you bastard. – amanda

AND i know that i may leave alone – which is the frightening part because no one can be as foolish as i can in situations like that. – amanda.

If you’re waiting for it or expecting it to happen though, it will. And I think the way you know you’ve found someone special is when you do let them down but they still love you anyway and accept that, because you’re only human, you will let them down on occasion. Don’t live in fear. You need hope in yourself before you can keep your hope in people. Sorry, don’t mean to sound preachy.

AND I LOVE YOU DAVID and you may have let me down . im not sure. it doesnt matter anyway though right? hey you may look like jesus. but that doesnt give you all his divine hotness…of perfection…?

You do realize that this is a self-fulfilling prophecy, right?

what do you mean not alone? if not physically? you cant be feeding me that whole in our hearts and minds bullshit, david. cuz i dont like the taste of it. and how can you be so positive that i have let you down? i can only think of one incident…and even then that was not strictly categorized in the let down section of things

and by i i mean you. and by you i mean i.

we are only human. We can’t always please everybody. at one time we will let somebody down but if they truly love us they will understand and forgive us because they will know, like them, we aren’t perfect. *hugs*

free yourself in the fact that it is inevitable and you can do nothing about it.

i think you dont know anything when i talk about being let down. you probably have some little list in your head of things you think are the problem because you are simply too hard on yourself but i bet you could not be more wrong. i think so highly of you. i add the word dearest before your name. and it is sincere. …so what did you mean then if it was not bs stuff?

alright. good point. very good point. i have nothing to say about it now. because i agree with you. and youve said it all so well.

oh david. will i ever talk to/see you again? probably not. i love how whenever we do see each other it’s so deliciously awkward and somewhat uncomfortable that i want to burst, in a good way of course…

but that kind of loss isn’t necessarily permanent

i love you david! i just want you to know that. and even though i don’t really know you outside of the internet, i am so glad that i can read about you. you’re someone i admire and you inspire me to be a better person. i hope you always have peace and love and passion and beauty in your life. thank you for letting me know you! -heather

Sounds more like an obsession than a delema. Anyhow, you’ve already let me down lot’s of times. It’s much more rewarding being friends with a human being than an angel. Try not to lose sleep over it… if at all possible. ~

you can only let someone down in attempt to aid them, and it’s those attempts that you’re expected of… those attempts you are known for… their success or failure mean nothing to me. xo Shannon P.S. David, I can’t even remember what my OD name was… and the fact that it doesnt exist anymore doesnt really help me.

yes, i’ve heard of this before from you. it must be known that this is the dream: that you may only ever disappoint yourself, and others may only be disappointed by themsleves. we only miss out according to that which we expect. and can any damage really be done to make a real change; to alter the grand scheme? rather only to fulfill it.

to hide such a love as yours from the world would be the only crime ever worth remembering.

i cant see what part of the night was my height of maturity. heh. and that car ride over there…won’t be happening again. ive explored that method of coping now and it just leaves me quite unentertained and distracted in the end.

and if that’s the most mature you have ever seen me act…then boy do i feel awful about all the times before.

well….i dont care. i wont. ‘hmphf’

i disagree

no, david. accept that fact that someone is not accepting your compliment. it is empty. and i dont want it.

You sound like matt, he echoes this sentiment a lot. But do you know what I love? You are a real person. You have real standards, expectations of yourself and the people around you. You deserve the world because if you had it, you’d give it. I love that. Love it, love it, love it, love it.

you are the only girly girl here…. – amandaaaaaaaaa

you were crying in a sink?

heh….d-man.

I hope this comes out as a compliment because that’s how I intend it, but I like and appreciate you more now than before… I have been reading your diary on and off for a loooong time now. You’ve grown so much, evolved so much and you seem so much more in your essence now than ever before and it’s a joy to read, to have an insight into you.