queen of las vegas

maybe it’s because it’s been a weird day. or maybe it’s because i’ve been drinking wine all day and now i’m listening to a kelly clarkson song. whatever it is, i’m bitter like baking chocolate right now.

i went to the store to get last minute stuff for my sister, on account of it’s national slaughter-and-fist-a-turkey-day. i parked, went in, made a mad dash for the last tub of whipped butter, snatched the next to last package of rolls, and waited in line for twenty minutes only to go back to my car and discover a new dent in my door. laaaameshit.
at the sister’s house, i got hit on by her drunken roommate. then the yams caught fire. i dropped a cantaloupe on my foot and the dog drank someone’s open beer. the child in attendance ate a bite of crayon when no one was looking. then my friend kate showed up too drunk to walk. but she was wearing sequined pants and so we forgive. i guess.
oy. holidays.

tomorrow night i’m throwing a house party and i’m exxxcited on account of the guest list. you’d be on it, if you lived in this state. asshole.
butt enuf aboot me. how are you?