Letting Things Be

Control is an illusion. Learning to stop trying to control feels like letting myself unfold.

I used to think that only if I knew what was going to happen, could I be safe.  The only way I could know what was going to happen was to control it.

Can’t control.

So deep is my fear of being abandoned.  Have always felt that the only way to avoid being abandoned was to be perfect, or rather, to somehow control others to see that I am not bad.

Well, sometimes I am bad.  And most of the time I am good.  And I hold myself to the standards that matter to me.

Because I can’t control what anyone thinks of me.  I can act in ways that make me feel good about who I am, faults and all.

That is ultimately the only way that I can feel safe. 

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March 15, 2013
March 15, 2013

You can’t control or change anyone but yourself so I stopped trying and spent a lot of time finding out just who I am really. If someone else doesn’t like that then they don’t have to be around me and I’m safer having the people who do like or love me around me anyway. Hugs

March 15, 2013

I often wonder how you are doing.

March 16, 2013

Miss your self-reflective entries .

March 16, 2013

Control is totally an illusion.

March 17, 2013

you’re right..perfection is an allusion too.

March 18, 2013

Control is a safety net. I’ve been told I’m a control freak, and it is hard to let go. I tell people “Let go and let God” but I can’t do it myself. I think He needs my help! haha

April 20, 2013