death by bracelet box

a lot of new staff have started work at azendi, in time for the insanely busy chrimbo period. sally is one of them, she’s only sixteen but she’s very nice, and talks in a gutteral nothern accent as i do so i’m less bothered about not talking in poncy southern tones. when i told a friend from uni that i worked in a jewellery shop she said ‘how did you get that kind of job with the way you talk?’, and only half-joking too! i should’ve twatted her. anyway, that’s getting off the subject a bit.

sally also says ‘proper’ a lot like i do. my boyfriend tells me off for saying it. regardless, i think she’s proper bo’.

another girl called rachel started last week as well. she’s doing an education degree at uni, and was at middlesex last year but she quit because she couldn’t hack london. within about five minutes of meeting her i learnt that she worked at mcdonald’s and i tried not to laugh, because i am very unkind about such things. then she told me that she used to work 47 hour weeks on top of her university works, and i felt a bit bad. her parents have decided not to contribute anything towards her uni degree, which is a bit harsh. anyway, i was banished upstairs to the staff room at work today because i have to prepare the jewellery boxes for christmas, take off the cardboard layer and stack them back again, all very exciting stuff y’know. personally, i felt i was being removed from public view because at the moment i look like a leper, with some weird heatlump thingys on my hand and some sort of horrid allergic reaction that i got on my wrist this moming. supergrrrrrrs. so i had a bit of bonding time and me and rachel had the chance to ‘get to know each other.’

what a load of bollocks that was. well, it is half true. i currently know everything that there is to know about miss rachel munday, and as far as i know, all she knows about me is my name and the fact that i work at azendi. the topic of ‘conversation’ went like this:

1) rachel not being over her ex-boyfriend sam
2) various situations where sam acted like an arse
3) why she still loves sam
4) how close she is to sam’s family
5) various birthday presents that sam bought her, going into great detail about a ‘birthday tree.’
6) the whole event, days before and days after her and sam broke up
7) why her and sam nearly got back together but didn’t
8) why she hates men
9) reasons why she thinks sam still likes her
10) rachel’s job at mcdonalds, including:
a) hours worked
b) duties fulfilled in the two and a half years (?!) she worked there
c) various times she stood up to the management
d) her crap pay
e) how hard the job is
11) a time when she stayed in a very posh hotel because a boy fancied her, including:
a) room
b) meal
c) service
12) how she thinks she will be thrown out by uni
13) why she may quit uni
14) how the smell of smoke reminds her of sam, and how she misses it/sam

.. luckily by this time it was four o clock and time for her to go. what was great about the whole thing what when i tried to redress the balance and talk a bit, she’d look at me blankly, say ‘..yeah. god, i’m so tired. really tired.’ every single time

by the time she started talking about her birthday tree i started imagining what it would be like if i stood up and said ‘just shut the fuck up. i don’t care how the most efficient way to make fries is’ and clubbed her to death with a bracelet box.

then we went bowling after work for the staff night out and she was as quiet as a mouse! gah. i rather stupidly drank pints and now i’m very sleepy so i’d better go. i have to work yet again tomorrow and then we’re off to the christmas do in harrogate. free cocktails and champagne! wahey!

musical sock xx

Curiosita

November 21, 2003

Um, so Rachel likes Sam still then. Grrr to people like her.And what exactly is wrong with a Northern accent? Bloody Southern fairies. Hehe.

Ambrosian

November 22, 2003

The Northern accent is the superior one, absolutely. What a dull girl she sounds. Hopefully she’ll be back in McGonads soon eh? Just tell her to shut up. I would.

TheMoor

I am guessing that York maybe a tiny bit like St Andrews that you have a lot of posh kids from down south polluting the place and thinking their God’s gift. I’m partial to most accents and think that Northern and Midlands accents have character. The Hugh Grant accent only developed from me not wanting to sound ‘Paki’ as a kid – it’s just gone way too far but I now find myself

blending into an East Anglian accent. Mmm, Rachel…and doing an education degree. When I was back at uni, the girls doing education were seen to be like the Essex girls of our uni and I have some first hand experiences of their lack of intellect but at least they have jobs but I don’t think I could cope with a class of 30 7 year olds!

November 23, 2003

RYN: I could rant about this girl ‘Jayne’ who came from a posh private school (not as good as your friends from Uppingham) who essentially said, “Accountancy is too boring for me, I want to work in fund management.” Whilst most of the state school kids banged their head getting an interview with the London banks, she mysteriously and easily got a job with a couple of interviews…

I know I have to create my own luck but God has a very dodgy sense of humour when obnoxious tarts (first abusive word that came into my head) like Jayne are given things on a plate whilst I ….. *men in white coats come to take the Moor away to a nice padded cell and straighjacket him*

rebelwithoutaquilt

Ha, Middlesex university! What a hole. I should know, i live about 2 miles down the road from one branch of it…

November 27, 2003

RYN: The main reason I don’t want to become a teacher is what I have said in the past. I once made a maths supply teacher who was taking my GCSE maths class (my maths teacher had a nervous breakdown) break down into tears by saying to her: “The only reason you became a teacher is that you got a crap degree from a crap university” – thank you very much Daily Mail for providing me with the info!

RYN2: The lyrics of ‘Gangsta’s paradise’ by Coolio do have a certain resonance to me (despite my accent sounding like Hugh Grant!). I am smart but I am insecure and perhaps self-sabotaging (without knowing about it). Anyway, getting back on topic, maybe my future lies in combining my interests rather than taking things on a plate. One of the Excel books I bought because my job before last

hardly gave me any training was written by a management consultant who worked for Price Waterhouse Coopers – so he was getting paid £50K or more a year to play about with Excel for major companies and he got to travel the world with it! However, I suspect he’s a good computer programmer – however, I might be doing myself down because when I worked in life insurance, the work was

boring and the systems were primitive (you know those big, powerful old computers with the huge loops of tape that you see in sci-fi movies – that’s what I programmed!). If there is a problem in an Excel spreadsheet or a macro, it normally tells you where it is. Anyway, getting back on topic, you may have a point, maybe training businessmen(!) on using Excel maybe a way forward!

December 2, 2003

RYN: Yeah, the marks were the highest ever because they dumbed down the exam! *sets LP up to play ‘The Hovis tune’ (the ad where the boy is pushing a bike up a steep road) and adopts a Yorkshire accentWhen I were a lad, times were tough, you had to go down pit, do paper round, go to school, do proper A-levels and go down pit yet again and I still got good A-levels! 😉

Do you get paid every time you mention Excel on your diary and in notes? You’re always banging on about it. It’s fascinating. ZZzzzzz.

December 15, 2003

*looks up at Ambrosian’s note* Pity, it’s not like afrodiary, where Afrodiary gets a comission for every link to Amazon (wouldn’t mind a share of that!). btw, Ms Sock, where’s the updateage? *fitting in with the FOD vernacular*