05/06/2012

 I applied for another job on Saturday, at the library.  It seems fortuitous that they’re hiring a part-time assistant.  I’m not going to get my hopes up, though, because I’ve yet to get so much as an interview.  I’m too educated, I don’t have the right connections, or I’m just a failure of a human being.

I know that’s not true.  I’m immensely talented, I’m an exceptional worker, and I make a great employee.  That doesn’t matter, though.  I might as well be a failure, because it has the exact same results.

I got my final grades for last semester.  Two As and two A+s.  Worthless.

I feel like my life brings nothing…to the world.  I think no one except my pets would miss me if I died.  It would be easier that way.

I can’t find a long-sleeved bridesmaid dress to save my life.  I don’t know what to do about it.  I have a while until the wedding, I suppose I could try and do something about the hideous scarring.  I am oddly attached to the scars, though, and I’m not sure I want them gone.

My period is late, which is troubling.  I’m not pregnant, so it’s probably cancer.  Or the next coming of Christ.  One and the same, really.

My university approved my financial aid appeal, which surprised me.  I’m not accustomed to things actually going my way.  That means I have to start working on my botany project…or drop botany.  It seems like too much work now, but then, so does getting out of bed in the morning.  And going to bed at night.  This might change by September.