7/17/08

I think I’m going crazy.

Seriously deluded/irrational/hallucinating crazy.

I tell myself over and over and over again but it’s like I can’t listen to myself, and the ever-escalating panic and sinking despair continue to spiral out of control over something that I don’t think is real.  Except, I think it IS real.  And if it IS, then I’m not crazy, but I have this strange feeling that I AM.  Because I check over and over and over and it’s still the same and I STILL can’t believe what my senses are telling me.  So I just keep checking and checking and checking and worrying and worrying.

I can’t sleep anymore.

I KNOW I’m being irrational, but at the same time, I can’t stop, I just can’t get it through my skull what is and isn’t real.  What the hell is that?