I’ll find you again someday

Forever in memories, in every star and in every reflected beam of light…you were never there at all.  All that means anything is the absence of everything with meaning. 

What is there to look for?  When the people’s whose company you would seek are the same people who disgust you?  Longing for companionship that would only make you feel closed in.  Attracted to and repulsed from the same thing.  Inner peace is found through isolation.  To put my mind to rest I need only solitude.  But to put my heart to rest I need only…what?

Deep inside, I crave unfaltering acceptance and love.  The love of the Master for his creation…but I believe in no such master.

What purpose is there to be achieved from always being torn?  When the mind and the heart desperately need what the other rejects?  Humanity, with its faults, repulses the mind.  Isolation, life in an ivory tower, destroys the heart.  I must be either of them, or apart.