And though I sleep ’til the morning…
At night I run away.
My last update was almost 2 months ago. Funny how time flies. I’ve been working here for 2 months already.
By "here" I mean the library. There’s somethng liberating about having a job where you’re paid to go on the internet.
I haven’t really changed in the last 2 months, if I have it’s only for the worse. I find myself more angry and frustrated and more prone to fits of melancholy. I find there’s not much I enjoy in my life, but I’m too worn out to do something about it. I sleep as much as possible if only to avoid being awake.
Somehow, though, I’ve found my creativity again and have composed 3 songs. I usually don’t post lyrics here, but they’re mine, and they describe a lot. My god, am I falling out of character.
"Run Away"
Waiting for tomorrow-
lose another day.
Staring at the sunlight,
I cannot look away.
Though I sleep
’til the morning
I want to run away.
Chorus:
Dancing with the moonlight-
from dreams I can’t awake.
Knowing nothing’s out there
is what I cannot take.
Though I reach for the morning,
hope, I cannot fake.
Waiting for redemption,
bend my knees and pray.
Look for absolution
yet all I find is pain.
Though I wait, oh, so patient-
Inside I run away.
Though I sleep ’til the morning
I want to run away.
Wasted my time waiting
for what would never be.
If I had just walked away
I could now be free.
Forever, now, I’ll regret
what I could never see.
Repeat Chorus
The other one I’ve finished lately that has lyrics I haven’t named yet, but here’s that one, too.
Why would I try
to forget what I’ve done?
When I deserve resolution
less than anyone.
Why would I try to drown
all my sorrows dead?
When they are the only things
I can find in my head.
Chorus:
Forgive me for holding on
Walking with head bowed low.
Refusing to forget, yet,
unwilling, still, to know-
no happiness now remains,
there’s nowhere left to go.
Yet I will walk on,
eyes cast down and head bowed low.
Where does the sun go
when it runs away at night?
Why does it return each day
to shed redeeming light?
What is forgiveness
when it’s turned away?
What is the night
but the start of a new day?
Repeat chorus
I should probably go do some work or something.