Thinking about what a friend had said…

I was hoping it was a lie. 

I don’t have school tomorrow, and for that I am thankful.  I have a long weekend ahead of me, no homework, and minimal work.  I should be relaxing, chilling out, taking the break I never seem to get.

And yet, for the life of me, I can’t seem to relax.  The restless anxiety has once again taken hold and I find myself incapable of shaking it.  Anxiety mixed liberally with dread.  I don’t even know what exactly I’m dreading. 

I feel like I should be doing something.  Anything.  Studying, working, practicing an instrument…something productive.  All I want to do is relax but this feeling of laziness and worthlessness won’t go away.

My parents are out.  I haven’t really seen them tonight anyway.  I’ve been in this room for 3 and a half hours.  I can’t deny that I’m lonely.  Outside of school, I rarely see anyone.  Except my sister.  Having no friends isn’t terribly troubling, but they would be a welcome distraction from this restlessness.

Fuck it.