05/11/2009
Today IS worse than yesterday.
I lost another chunk of tooth today. So now both #2 and #15 are mostly gone, with #4 not far behind.
One of the consequences of this illness, I’m afraid.
Not the self-mutilating, self-loathing narcissistic masochistic disease, no, the REAL one, the physical one, the one that has shortened my lifespan significantly. I try not to think about that one. Because when I do, I know that today IS worse than yesterday, dammit.
I am falling apart, and I HATE myself for it. I couldn’t do it on my own, but who else was going to do it for me?
I think I’m losing hair, too, but that might just be my rampant hypochondriasis.
Fuck all of this, it’s getting me nowhere. None of this is. Nothing ever will.
Fuck you most of all.
🙁 That’s so sad. I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize how this cruel disease keeps blood from fully pumping to the gums. I learned this from your diary. If I knew you, I’d give you a Gollum bobble-head doll. It wouldn’t change anything, but for just one second you might be delighted. (Notice I wrote “might”.)
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