I Witnessed A Friend Go Insane; The Mother

I wanted to run. The fear of rejection made my anxiety soar through the roof. I wanted to just cut Leo off the way he cut me off years ago. However, I was addicted. I couldn’t stay away from him. What was even better was he didn’t touch me again, our encounters were pure emotional bliss. We would sit in his carport, sun tan together and talk for hours. I noticed one day that when he spoke, there was a heavy depression behind every word he said and he very body language. It made my nurturing instincts absolutely pulsate. As sick as that sounds, I wanted to nurture this man.

We spoke about our desires, who we are as people, our insecurities. He asked me what my deepest fears were and then told me his own. I told him that I have a very nurturing nature and that is usually what trips me up socially. As most people don’t give a fuck, I have to nurture every soul I encounter and because of it, I am deemed as “too sensitive”. That is the common narcissist insult to sensitives, our nature is smashed down and told it’s a flaw and because of it we are undeserving of love. However, if you think of it….being loving…..makes you deserving of love. Being narcissistic, makes you deserving of being loathed. Yet, a narcissist will convince you and everyone around you that it is the other way around.

Leo asked me, “Do you want children?”

“No.” I answered abruptly. I could tell he was taken back and very disappointed by my response. “I can’t have children. I’m infertile.”, I added quickly.

“I’ll adopt!” Leo sprung forward in his chair. I was really taken back by his response. Wait…am I supposed to co-parent with him? I thought he said that he only desired to be my friend, and now he’s speaking as though he wants to raise a family together. What the fuck… “I’ll adopt!” He repeated, giving me that intense stare that Scorpios are famous for.

Leo was intent that I met his Mother, however, I had no desire. I thought we were just friends?! To my utter horror, he sprang it on me by surprise one day. I come over and he notifies me that Mother will be home in a few minutes. I ended up speaking to her all evening about her life and her traumas. She was a nice lady and even fun to be around, but I wanted her to go away so I could spend alone time with her son.

The let the dogs out to pee and Leo showed me his “snake”. No, not the snake I desired to see, but a black snake coiled up in the rafters of his shed.

“I dare you to poke it” I beamed at him mischeviously. I could tell he was nervous and frightened but his manhood was a stake. He poke the snake and it coiled up even tighter.

“Okay, now you go.”. He beamed at me back, testing my reserve. I shot him a cool glance and poked the snake and giggled. I’m not afraid of snakes hunny.

When we went back on the car port Leo’s Mom started talking about herself again. Leo interjected and said “I poked the snake.” and she became visibly upset for her sons safety. He didn’t sell me out, which I found loyal.

“Leo! It could have BITTEN YOU!”. I just sat back and shaked my head. I felt a small ounce of guilt that I was the one who put her son in danger, but then again I was amused because what wimps!

I need to give Leo’s Mother a name for the sake of the rest of this story. Joan it is.

Joan sat there and talked about herself for the rest of her evening. She told me about how abusive Leo’s biological father was and Leo had saved her life because when she found out she was pregnant with him she got the courage to leave. Apparently he held a gun to her head.

Leo shot me an intense gaze, where his eyes glowed with fire like intensity and he said, “Crazy runs in my genes.”. I felt it was a warning, but I also thought he was exaggerating a tad. If Leo was crazy for having panic attacks and depression then that makes two of us. Joan said it ran on her side too and told Leo to quit. Then she started bragging about how Leo was such an amazing cook and she was hungry. She coaxed him into cooking for us gals.

We went inside and Leo cooked for us and I admit, it was the best sandwich I’ve ever had.  He even served it to us, went back to the kitchen and served us a side of steamed veggies in a sauce. I said “Well aren’t you a gentleman”, very flirtatious, and I noticed Joan shoot me a look.

They suggested watching a movie, Leo wanted to watch “a beautiful mind”, a movie about a schizophrenic genius man, but Joan didn’t want to see it. So we ended up watching something that really sucked. I excused myself part way through the movie, and Leo walked me out to my car and gave me a hug goodbye. I tripped and he caught me in his arms. I look at him and giggled bashfully, then we said our goodbyes.