an open letter to book publishers everywhere.

Dear Publisher,

I’m someone who blows a lot of money on books. Books I buy because I’m in the aisle and on either side shelf upon shelf offers me hours of insight into a new world for $7.99. Those short sexy blurbs on the back like little black things seducing the reader to open the spread and jump right in. But, see, Publisher if you leave that little black thing out there’s nothing to entice me into bed. I have to thumb through the pages looking for a taste of what’s to come, reading the actual product which is like revealing whats in the box inside the box inside the box inside the box no unwrapping necessary.

So what I’m saying is forgoing the back cover preview for prepaid brown nosed snippets really lets the air out of the boner. 554 years since God said let there be Gutenberg Bible #1 the presses keep on chugging weighing down shelves in every corner of land. I came in on the scene a little late to read everything so I have to settle for buying for the thrill, shoplifting with a wallet and enjoying a small fraction of the spoils. And let’s talk about your policy – or lack of policy – on publishing book series. Any good pimp gives the client more of what he likes. Bigger, better. Sexier, younger. So why do continue to leave the information I want for out of anywhere in the books? All I want to know is what’s the next lilipad across the pond, where in the series do i head next? Is it that hard to supply your client with the next in line. Put a number on the binding, in the back, in tiny print under the copyright just as long as it’s somewhere. Otherwise I’m left with a case of blue balls because you wouldn’t leave your gobsmacking number.

pet peeves.