no i am not having sex with my car so stop staring
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Diary: I Feel Pretty
Password: iamloved
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Toyota has some weird safety precautions.
Case: In my car the steering wheel locks (and the key won’t turn) as an apparent anti-theft maneuver. I have no idea what triggers the wheel to lock – only that it locks 1 in every 10 times I get into the car and I’m still not exactly clear which of the many things I end up doing is the magic act to release the thing. What seems to work is turning the wheel as far as possible left or right until the key turns.
Basically, this culminates in man scenes in which I’m stuck in a parking lot or a garage or a driveway rocking side to side over my wheel, grunting and perhaps growling interspersed with some cursing, sweating like a madman and in general looking like A) I am making wild cross breed love to a steering wheel B) trying to steal my own car or C) the crazy person people go home to tell their friends about*.
As one might imagine this makes for awkward situations especially if I am spotted by someone I know, say perhaps if I’m stuck in someone’s driveway and had supposedly left 7 minutes ago. "Yeah, I though you left??" "Oh, no. This political debate on NPR about the origins behind the term "second joint" for a chicken thigh just fascinated me and I can’t drive and listen to debates about second joints………………………………………yeaaaaahh…..my wheel is stuck."
Me and cars. I once couldn’t get my gas tank top open (it had a key and the damn key wasn’t turning) and I had to accept the help of a passing guy that took pity on me. Dammit I am a self sufficent woman I don’t need men – except to open my jars and open my gas tanks…and unstick my wheel. But not to beat guitar hero. I totally kicked the Medium boss for Matt for the win. It took me three tries. Still. i rulz.
*Like my recent bag boy at Vons. I bought a large meat packet (it would turn out to be dinner – tacos and burgers – for the next five days yay summer leftovers) and two sweet potatoes.
Cashier (guy, late 30s): Wow, you making the family dinner? Can you stop my house first?
Bag boy (early 20s): Do you want your produce and meat in seperate bags?
Me: "Um, no that’s okay."
Bag boy: "Oh, okay. I used to care. Some people care. My therapist told me to not worry about the small things in life so I don’t care anymore."
Me: Oh. *nervous social laugh that is the appropriate response to all weird remarks and stories*
Me (thinking): hehe. humans are funny.
NEXT DAY
Me: *sees SAME bag boy* (thinking) wow, I’ve never seen the same person twice. I am suddenly very aware of his produce therapy nightmare. hehe. I love humanity. *goes to WellsFargo and gets a happy face on the receipt ticket*
Oh, life.
it’s an anti-theft. are you turning your steering wheel that 1 out of 10 times, cause if you are, that’s what normally triggers that device… I could be wrong.. but you know? just an idea…
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I heart my lil toyota, it locks if you have the engine off and you turn the wheel too far, you just need to jiggle the wheel from side to side when you turn the ignition on and it unlocks
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That crap happens to my steering wheel ALL THE TIME. I never considered that people would think I’m humping my car. Until now!
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I think my car does that too, not as often but it does. And yeah I do a similar thing, pry not nearly as bad as how you have to do it though, lol. I usually have no problems getting it to unstick, I’m not even sure how I do that. I wish I ran into random people who would burst into telling me what their therapists tells them.
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Aaron Cook was awesome. He was a magician out there. I know that a lot of people had no clue who he was or why he was there. 🙂
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I have never liked sweet potatoes. My family loves them but I cant stand them. I dont know why.
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That wheel lock is just a friendly reminder not to use YOUR car as the getaway car.
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RYN: You are a lucky girl. If Satan had lice, I bet they would look like earwigs. The thing that sucks is that they’re flat enough that they’re really hard to kill just by throwing something heavy at them. You have to STOMP and drag. I generally don’t get close enough to any of those things to do any stomping on them, let alone dragging.
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My steering wheel locks practically the minute I take the key out of the ignition, thankfully it’s a simple maneuver to get the steering wheel unlocked.
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