Determination

I’m 6 months sober today. It officially marks the day where my chance of relapse drops by half.   I don’t think about drinking much anymore. As weird as it sounds, I can go to group and focus on all things addiction and not even give drinking a thought. I’m finding that I handle the big stuff really easily; the small stuff would be my downfall. Those moments where life is going smoothly and normally, and out of nowhere I’ll wish I had a drink beside me.

I told my son today about breaking up with Steve, and subsequently meeting Eric. He’s just glad that I’m happy. He’s going to be that guy that gets his heart broken over and over because he’s so sweet and thoughtful, and most of us girls go after the bad boys. 🙄  Girls can be so dumb lol. Part of the lack of feeling about steve was, he was so perfect on paper. He was everything I thought I was looking for, but it just never clicked. That’s not at all to say Eric is a bad boy – he’s had his moments in life, and there’s a reason we connect so well – he treats me with the utmost kindness and respect, but he will call me on my shit. There’s an excitement in learning to know him.

Jess’s check was shorted $650 this pay, so guess who didn’t get paid. 😳🙄  I’m sure as soon as it’s straightened out he will take care of me, but in the meantime anything I spend comes out of the $ set back for the hotel. Again, big stressor, but not even a thought of finding answers in the bottom of a bottle.

DiaryMaster, I really appreciate your feedback. It’s nice to hear from an outside source. I’m so grateful to be back here, thank you!

All Janie’s stuff sitting here, and her car in the parking lot, is a reminder I don’t want of how bad things can get. No matter how bad it gets, it’s built into my psyche to find the silver lining. One thing addiction has taught me, I’m a strong person. Fall down seven times, get up eight. I’ll fight this for the rest of my life, and I will not back down.