Homesick

I’m missing my family so much right now. My mom came to visit last weekend (and took some pictures, which I’ll post later if I remember), and it was so nice to have her here, and now she’s gone again. I’m just so frustrated with this situation.

I am happy that Hubby got the job he has, because I know he wasn’t happy at his old job back home, but I can’t help thinking how much nicer things would be if he hadn’t gotten it. He made about the same money at his old job, plus I had a good job there, too, so we would have had more money saved up before Maddy got here. I loved my doctor and hospital there, and can’t help thinking that some of the complications I had during pregnancy were because of all the stress of moving.

But the main thing that would have been so much better is that my family would have been around. (Hubby’s parents would be there, too, but I’m not counting that as a positive) My mom misses Maddy so much, and is so upset that we moved out here and she can’t see her granddaughter all the time like she wants to. She would be able to watch Maddy so Hubby and I could go to a movie or just get out for a while.

And I really mind not having my friends around right now. I’ve been having some troubles with Hubby lately, and really don’t have anyone to talk to about it. I know I could call people, but I really need to just go out with a friend for coffee and vent. I’m hoping to meet people here soon through a mom’s group or something, but even then I won’t know them well enough right away that I can vent about Hubby.

Part of me thinks I should stop being homesick and just embrace being here, and another part wants to push for Hubby to look for a job closer to home. Now that he has a little experience and his security clearance, he qualifies for a lot of jobs in Chicago and a few other cities that are in driving distance of my family.

I don’t even know what I want right now, because either way kind of sucks. I don’t really want to stay here, but it would be kind of dumb to pay for another cross-country move less than a year after this last one! But I do think it would be worth it for Maddy to be able to have a closer relationship with my parents and sister. It makes me so sad that when I go home to visit in March, she probably won’t recognize any of them.