Fears
I’ve spent the last couple weeks alternately being deliriously happy and freaking the hell out. At the moment, I’m freaking out. Here’s why…
I’m afraid that I’ll lose the baby. I don’t have any reason to suspect that will happen except for the fact that something like 1 in 5 pregnancies ends in miscarriage, and if it’s going to happen, it’s most likely to happen within the next few weeks. Every little cramp or twinge in my stomach sends me into a slight panic, even though it’s completely normal to have little twinges, seeing as everything in there is moving around. How cruel is that? One of the most common pregnancy symptoms is also a symptom that you’re about to miscarry.
I think I’ll be able to quit freaking out about this after my first ultrasound (on June 1st). Or, I probably won’t actually stop worrying, but I’ll tone it down some.
I’m also afraid that something will go wrong at the ultrasound. I’m so looking forward to it, getting to see my baby in there for the first time, and hearing the heartbeat. But what if something is wrong? One of the girls from my baby message board went to her first ultrasound thinking everything was fine and found out that she had lost the baby. I’m terrified that will happen to me.
I’m a little afraid of starting a new job right now, because my mind will not really be on my work. I don’t know how it will work if I need to suddenly run to the bathroom to throw up, or if I get one of my very strong hunger pangs (seriously, I don’t think I had a clue what it really felt like to be hungry until now!) and it’s a few hours until lunch. I don’t want the people at my new job to know that I’m pregnant for the first couple months, so I hope I’m able to hide it.
I’m afraid of labor. I think that’s pretty common, though. I mean, in a way, I’m looking forward to it, just because it’s an experience that I really want to have, but what if I can’t handle it? What if I make the wrong choice about whether or not to get the drugs?
I’m afraid that hubby will get a job far away and we’ll have to move. I’m also afraid that he won’t get a job, and we’ll have to raise a baby on our current income. I’m basically worried about this part of things no matter what happens.
Most of all, I’m afraid that I’ll be a terrible mother. I know I’ll love my baby and do my best, but what if that’s not good enough? What if I fall asleep when I’m supposed to be watching the baby and something happens? And what if I can’t hide my neurotic side well enough, and my baby turns out to be just like me??
Anyway, that’s all the stuff I’m freaking out about!
It is just 9 months. I hope you will make it through. Just distract yourself from it, I guess. Watch TV. I hope your baby doesn’t die. 😀
Warning Comment
I think all your worries are what most mothers (new possibly) worry about and go through. I hope your pregnancy goes well <3
Warning Comment
I suspected your first noter was pretty young and immature and I was right. I think its normal to feel how you are feeling, although I don’t know because I have never been pregnant. RYN: I actually was supposed to have a med elav appointment on Monday but I was stuck in Dallas coming home from Mexico so I missed it and had to reschedule. I have to wait another few weeks. blah.
Warning Comment
honey, I think all first time Moms do this, gods know I did..I cryed on the phone to the OB receptionist because they weren’t going to be able to see me for 2 weeks after I found out! it’ll be fine, remember, your body was designed to do this, and after baby arives, you’ll know if s/he needs something, even if you’re asleep! s/he’ll let you know 🙂
Warning Comment
Deep breaths and PRAYING. LOTS of praying girl… -hugs- and of course chatting with ME to pass the next two weeks! lol… I heart you so much! So… the baby’s name is Kirsten… right? lol
Warning Comment
it goes by so fast!! really, and you worry the whole time. you worry about miscarrying and then you worry about there being something wrong when you get the ultrasound, and then you worry if your baby isnt moving enough… its never ending bring snacks to work and suck on peppermints for nausea and enjoy your pregnancy because it will fly by!!
Warning Comment
Dont worry. lol easy for me to say. But really dont worry. If something happens there’s nothing you could do to prevent it or stop it. But chances are in your favor that nothing will happen. I hope you have a healthy pregnancy and at the end of it you get to hold your beautiful baby
Warning Comment
I had those exact same worries but everything will be ok 🙂 hell I’ve fell down the steps twice and I was panic stricken but babys doing fine. Try not to stress too much, That can take its toll.
Warning Comment
I just came across your diary and I am also due on Jan 12th… well, that’s what the people at Medicaid said but I won’t know for sure until I go to the doctor… I would really like to add you to my favs and I’ll get on as much as possible but right now I don’t have internet, I just go to my dad’s and get on when I can… **Until I can get mine… hopefully soon**
Warning Comment
RYN: I know exactly what you mean! it’s so hard not to worry especially with all of the horror stories you hear. it seemed like the whole time I was preg all anyone had was scarey stories, like that was supposed to help! I just started ignoring them..my mantra became “this is nature, this is what women’s bodies are for, it’ll work, after all, I was born wasn’t I?” lmao try to enjoy being preg!
Warning Comment