Or perfectly

deciding everything is falling into place perfectly as long as you don’t get too picky about what you mean by place. or perfectly. – Brain Andreas

Day two and I’m already thinking in terms of diary entries. How old habits die hard!

These days are like awakening from a dark, dark sleep. I am back to reading books, and listening to music, and watching interesting television (and thinking it’s funny!) and caring about my friends and wanting to learn and create. Yesterday I was so inspired by everything that I saw that I wanted to stay up for days on end to try this and then that and then that. Consume, consume, consume! There is not enough free time in the day to fill myself up with all the good and inspiring things in this world. When I am inspired and creative it feels like I could live forever – like I could be awake forever as long as I’m riding the wave of creativity. But I know the next day looms and I have to be responsible and get to sleep so that I can get up and be functional at work.

And then, once I leave work, all that mojo is gone, and I’m left with a cloudy brain and no energy. How to get back that spark?

When I was depressed, all I wanted to do was sleep. And when I wasn’t sleeping, I would kill time by binge watching Grey’s Anatomy. That was all I wanted to watch – Greys. I’ve now watched all 13 seasons at least twice – most of the episodes I’ve seen 5 or 6 times. It’s amazing how it kept my attention. I think now I would be bored with it.

We are in a training class at work this week. I was feeling very good about my work and more confident than ever, and then this training class happens and I am swimming in figures again. Bleh

Poop!