Lycium parishii

It’s over.

tomorrow I’ll wake up, rub my eyes, and begin the 11 hour drive.

I’m not sure what to expect when I get there.

I’m stable at the moment, but I’m upset.

deep down inside, parts of my heart have fractured.

He didn’t want to do the distance, he had every reason.

It’s the more courageous thing to do, I think.

And it’s easier for my conscience, all I can do is pray that I didn’t give him herpes.

I love that man.

I guess soon enough that statement will be in the past tense, as time blurs the edges of sharp memories.

But right now I hurt.

I want some cigarettes and later some vodka to drown my heart.

First ever healthy relationship.

I am capable of loving and being loved.

that knowledge is marvelous.