santa fe

being home is not what I wanted it to be, not what I expected it to be.

Instead, it is as it always was.

I was holding onto the idea that a change of place would help me forget my discontent with myself

Instead it has amplified it X 1000

relatives asking about my grades (they still suck)

what I want to specialize in (not a clue)

what is it exactly that I have done in college?

What is it exactly that I hope to accomplish?

my confidence in what I want to do is close to the same as it was the summer I graduated high school.

there is this lingering feeling that if I continue like this I will eventually just waste away into nothing

the wind picking up my dust and displacing me among the invasive plants

I don’t know if I will stop it