no surprise

this morning when I woke up at 7, it was hailing.

but it’s almost 1 and the clouds have cleared, and it’s sunny, and not particularly cold.

Which is weird.

Oh look at me, discussing the weather…

On Sunday I had my ex neighbor, ex love interest, over for a chat.

It took me 3 days to get him to talk to me in person, because he didn’t have anything to gain out of talking to me, about the ‘end’ again.

It was a sunny breezy afternoon, calm and relaxed and beautiful.

When he walked up to our door I realized it was the first time he’d been here in the daylight.

I could tell he hadn’t shaved all weekend, and that he felt awkward because I’d been grumpy at him on the phone when he’d called earlier.

Right as soon as we sat down on the couch, and he started to say something, of course, my roommate walked in the door.

So we went for a walk around the neighborhood.

It’s hard to dislike him, or be mad at him for extreme flakiness when I talk to him.

I felt like such a little girl in comparison to him, like I just needed to calm the fuck down.

They way he says things sometimes, I could tell there is a part of him that just wanted to lead me on and have awesome sex for a while.

I guess I should be glad that he didn’t, but it also makes me think that I should not be un-sober when around him for at least a month or two; he could easily change his mind about that, because he has before.

We’ll see if we actually keep hanging out.

we got back to my house and he stood facing the sun and my hair was blowing back and I could tell that the look on his face, this exact moment is something I’ll always remember.

The best almost relationship I’ve ever had.

 

I got close enough to see the freckles in his irises one last time, and then hugged him goodbye.

He said something as I walked back to my house, idk what it was but I turned around and gave him a flirtatious smile, and he gave me one back.

happy tuesday.

phoebe