Unsent mail

J-

I’m writing this email because I want you to understand where I stand.

It’s a lot different than it was a couple weeks ago.

I could see us being friends in the future but only if I’m real with you right now.

I’m sorry for being bitchy and vague the other day when you messaged me.

Don’t play dumb though.

That’s not cool.

I don’t know if you realize how much good you’ve done me.

Most of it was being a decent human being.

I’m so grateful to you for not taking advantage of me, because I think it would have been quite easy had you chosen to do so.

I’m sad to admit that you were probably completely a mechanism for getting over M.

We never had a chance, like actually.

Thanks for sticking around a while though, we had a good time.

Most of the reason I’m so bitchy is that you hurt my pride by finding someone else so soon.

I guess out of anyone, I deserve that.

I still had residual feelings, and I think you knew, and you knew I would be hurt.

But it hurt even more that you couldn’t tell me to my face.

Really though, you don’t owe me anything, nor I you.

I’m probably making a way bigger deal out of this than need be, but I’ve had too much coffee and too much time to think.

I have no ill wills towards you, I’m just hurt, but I’ll get over myself.

Someday.

Obviously I can’t talk to you for a long while, (if you even want to talk to me)

maybe someday, if you want, we can be friends.

but, I hope you find the happiness you seek with someone who is complete in themselves.

Sarah