Full Disclosure

      My man and I were friends for nearly 7 years before we got together. He was the only one who believed in me when everyone else hated me. (please see any entries from 2006-2008 and see why!)

     He told me he loved me from the day he met me. When we got together, he cried because he said he wished I could see how amazing I am. Then I cried because I couldn’t believe that he had really been there for me all that time. He said he always would be. 

     I think I may be depressed.

     He also said that it hurt him that I might have FAE, because he wished he could take it away, and he can’t.

     But it hurts me, because… well… I wish that wasn’t it. And surely I must be intelligent if everyone has always said that I am? Why else would the people I connect with best always be the smartest ones? Either that, or they are the really fucked up ones of the crowd.

     He loves me, and he is so very good to me. When he buys groceries, he always comes back with things I like. If I tell him something bothers me, he always changes it, or finds a compromise that works for us both. He cooks me dinner almost every day, even after working a 10 hour shift.
     I’m not working, so I take care of the baby and the house. I think that’s fair.

     My perception of what is and isn’t fair or right, is often distorted. I have an issue, and I always wonder if I’m correct in my judgement of people. Such would be the nature of FAE, if that is indeed what I have. 
     Or, I could just have issues. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll never know.