Lacrosse and Other Things

 My brother, Dad and  Mum were here this weekend for lacrosse. It was awesome seeing them. I got to spend time with my mum, and sat through two whole games while sitting right next to her. It went really well for a change. It made me really happy. Each visit with her seems to get better and better. They did leave earlier than I’d hoped, but that’s ok, because everything did go so well. 

    I brought Eric. I told my family he was just a friend. It is only six months since I left a 3 and a half year relationship. And Eric and I have only been dating for a few months. Not even two, really. But he played lacrosse too once upon a time, so I told my dad that’s why I brought him. That’s part of the reason. Cuz it’s true, and I know he really loves lacrosse.

     But Eric said that he has a bad habit of staring at me whenever I get up and move around across the room. He said both my mom and my dad noticed, but they were smiling at him when they noticed. I mean, it’s pretty obvious that it’s more than what I was saying it was. But I think they respected the way I went about it.

     So, despite the way the day went, the evening didn’t go so well. We had a huge argument, it really had no basis at all. He was upset because he thought I had been guilting him into getting my way. Then he spent so much time trying to get me to admit I was wrong, that it got completely out of control. He hurt me so much by pointing out every little thing that I did wrong, and I hurt him so much that we both ended up crying and I wound up in some crazy shame spiral… I still feel really shitty over the whole thing. Right now, I really just want time away from Eric, so I won’t feel this way anymore.

     I guess that’s probably a good idea anyway.