Month off Reflection

 I still have financial problems. I still am not sure if I like my job or not. I still enjoy time spent with Eric. I still love my dog. I’m still living. 

I need to work on: my codependency, my internet addiction, my tidiness, my lack of self care, my financial issues, my organizational skills.

     Not really sure where to begin. I’d like to do these things before I go back to work. At least as many as possible. It’s very important for me to help myself. To work on myself. I guess I still have a lot of issues, although I’ve come very far. I think I should try to journal more often. I think it could be very helpful. Because I’m really just talking to myself, getting my own ideas out of my head, solidifying them as I write, and there’s really no reflection from anyone, so no one’s opinion matters but my own. I like that. I kind of like that I don’t get notes anymore actually. Because this diary is really for no one but myself. 

     I guess I really do have to dive deeper. Besides, there’s always room for improvement. And if I’m not constantly trying to improve myself, I guess I’m not really living. I really hope I find a way to enjoy life without working myself to death. I’m thinking, when I go back, I won’t be lazy. I’ll always try to be ahead and improve everything I do, to make it more efficient. And I will never work beyond my schedule. I think that’s really important for my mental health. I mean, I’m sure there will be times that I will have to, but if I’m already following my schedule AND getting enough sleep, I should be alright. No more 50 hours a week. But I think  I should really track my hours. No more lack of self care.

     Maybe I could start by doing some self hypnosis. I should put away all my laundry, do some self hypnosis. Then maybe I’ll work on some crocheting while I watch a movie. And cut back my facebook games to twice a day. That’s the hardest part. Whenever I have nothing to do, it’s my go-to activity. If I cut back on that, and my laying around, I would be far more productive. I’ll do that. Just a little at a time. One moment at a time. Maybe I could journal instead? But that might be too tempting. Maybe read instead. That would be perfect. I can try. Life is quite the adventure.